Gosh Exhausted..I'm sorry about your situation. You have alot of difficult issues. The biggest hurdle is your wife, who will probably always stick up for the child as she'll feel like she is protecting her, especially since you told her you didn't like the child (mistake in my opinion), even tho it's true. If I was you, being in a step-parent role, I would try to let her do the parenting/disciplining as much as possible. Just stick to the facts when you're talking about what the child does. Do not leave this child with the other children, this is your decision to make as those are your kids and you have to protect them, no matter what the wife says. I think at the very least you need family counseling, as you have 5 rough years ahead. It took me years to see my daughter for what she really was. I think this is the case for many moms and if there is a step-parent involved, the mom just has an instinct to protect the child at all cost. Hope you stick around here...this place has helped me so much. d.j.