God, I've tried to write this 8 times now and each time I think that it just makes me sound like a terrible person.

 

My husband and I got custody of his daughter a year and a half ago.  We got married 5 months later in February.  It hasn't quite been a year yet.  I think a divorce is coming.

 

My step-daughter is really cute.  She was sweet at first, then it became sickingly sweet and I'd find things destroyed.  It took about 3 weeks for the behavior to set in, and about 6 months for me to finally see the truth.  She hides box cutters and matches, and carves things up in her room.  She destroys everything she can.  She lies constantly.  She'll urinate in her clothes on the carpeting, then take her clothes and hide them in someone else's drawer.  She was suspended from school for wraping a scarf around another child's neck and choking him until an adult had to pull her off of him.

 

We've had her in counseling but she snows them all.  "she's depressed".  She's more than depressed.  She's off the charts in intelligence, and she can manipulate people like a master.  She has no friends, kids hate her.  I'm scared as hell of her.  I've never hit her, when she makes me mad enough I just walk out of the house and leave for a few hours.  She's told the school that her father and I hit her, she's urinated in her clothes and told the school that we sent her like that as a punishment.

 

I've always loved children and I've always looked forward to being a mother.  But when I look in this child's eyes I see nothing.  Her eyes are dead.  She doesn't care.  No punishment, no reward, no words and no medications have changed her.

 

I love my husband.  If she was a different child or if it was just him and I, I can see us growing old together.  I don't know if we'll see past a year with things the way they are.

 

I don't know if I'm looking for support, a shoulder to cry on, or advice from someone who's been there.  But I know that I can't take much more of this on my own.