Hi Rose,

Goodness me, how many of us are going through the same thing with our children. My son is 22 and has made my life hell. I really feel for you, and yes, I believe that detaching from them is the only way to survive. I can understand how you must feel about not having a relationship with your grandchild. Thats heartbreaking. We are fighting for legal custody of my beautiful 2 year old grandaughter (who lives with us), and he wants to keep her because he gets nearly A$900 a fortnight in parenting payments! However, he is unable to cope as a parent, and his partner left him and the child 4 months ago. I wonder why? I believe she was emotionally abused by him, but regardless, she isn't interested in her child.

Who knows what your son is capable of? My son is definetly capable of physical violence, and like yours, blames me for every thong that has gone wrong in his life. I truly believe my son hates me, he tells me he does. Why he doesn't hate his father who displayed the same behavioural traits, and walked out on his 2 kids and never looked back, I will never know.

Like you, I have agreed not to give him any more money, ever. He threatens suicide on a regular basis, but has never tried. I have been guilty of thinking that if he did, it would be a relief, for all of us, and himself as I think he is a tortured young man. i can't believe that he has got me to a point where I can even think that, but he has.I'm so sorry you are going through this. My stress levels are out of control and i feel very fragile and scared.

goosie