My ex-husband has NPD. He and I have been apart for almost 5 years! I am worried about my teenage daughter, the youngest in the family.
I see traits that frighten me and remind me so very much of her father (lack of empathy for others, rage when confronted, seeming to be oblivious of others needs and only concerned with her wants - and yes, I realize that to an extent, this is fairly normal for a teenager - she is 15 - but it is to an extreme and constant).
She has seen counselors, but never opens up to anyone - she "presents" herself very, very well in those situations and so far no counselor has been able to get beyond her shell.
My biggest question is how do I parent her best to help her? Do I show compassion, or do I parent with tough love? When she rages, do I just walk away or do I stand up to her (and risk an even larger explosion?) Does walking away give her more power?
I am beginning to understand how to deal with her father, but I have also come to the point where I hate him - I do NOT want to feel that way about her (not that I could hate her, but if she continues along her present course, she is going to alienate herself from me and her siblings - I am NOT alone in my concern for her!)
It is also important to note that I KNOW her father hurts her very badly, I have seen the evidence many times and when I have EVER tried to ask her about it, no matter how gently, she turns into his biggest alias and treats me like I am nothing short of Satan himself! It actually feels scary to see such sick devotion and her inability to see that I am just trying to help her - my mother recently witnessed an episode like this and could NOT believe how she changed before our very eyes!
ALL of my children have scars and damage from their years of serious abuse and dysfunction, but Dianna causes me the most concern, because I know if she does in fact have the same condition as her father, her life will be very sad, indeed - and IF there is anything I can do to help her NOW, I would sure like to know what it is....
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