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hi collect! What an amazing thing the gut reaction is. I for one have learned to trust it. We learn to push this reaction down and give people a second and even third chance. Plenty of people have been murdered for being like this. Having contact with a child with npd means hardening up whether you like it or not or you will end up dead or mad. We adopted a child age four and lord we never knew what we were in for. Who would believe you if you told them a child that young was exhibiting symptoms. Well we did not know at that stage and it was many years later I am piecing things together. how many casualties along the way I hate to think. Friends other children my marriage my other children. Thank heavens She got a bit too clever for her own good and gave the game away. I was as blind as a bat to her true nature till say the age of 15 or so. And even now she is 23 I am only truly realising how damaged she is. Untangling your life from theirs can be tricky at least your child has moved on but as you say you worry for who her next victim would be. You say you caught her looking at you funny. Exact same thing with our narc daughter. She would say things like... you really love your children don't you. In a certain tone. And it was as if she had no idea what this kind of love could be. She is as cold as ice. Very clever manipulative dangerous and yet to my face she is calm and collected and rarely looses control in fact we never talk about any issues other that surface ones. She makes out all is hunky dory and all is forgiven. Her modis operandi is to spread slander and lies around about me and warp the truth as she hates the fact I am friendly and seem to roll with her punches. She would cause trouble for her brothers and she seemed to like setting drama up and sitting back and watching what ensued. But the good thing is once you realise what is what they lose their power to mess with you to a major degree. you have lived in the shadow of them and their games but you may have learned things that will keep you and your family safe in years to come. Your NARC IS NOT THE ONLY ONE! you cannot make others understand what is happening but you must not cut off contact because of a narc. That is a help to them so be as kind and supportive as you can be to your in laws and be there for them when the s*** hits the fan! |
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