Hi Saddened - I am sorry to say your story is so similar to my own; except my (adpoted) daughter is 21, has 2 kids, and is living in my basement while her sick, shiftless husband is in prison for the second time.  She was 14 when she was diagnosed with ODD and ADD.  She stopped seeing a pdoc when she was 18 and just started again a few months ago.   The diagonsis now is ADD and bi-polar disorder with anxiety.  I had thought the ODD was a precurser to ASPD orNPD but neither seemed to fit exactly; she just has a lot of these traits such as pathalogical lying, no regard for other people etc.  But the bi-polar fits perfectly and it is easy to identify when she's in a manic state.  They haven't yet found a treatment that works for her.

I think the best thing for you to do is radically alter (lower) your expectations.  You may recieve a pleasant shock after the baby is born.  Ours decided to try to be a good Mom - she thinks she is wonderful and in fact she is adequate (barely) but has  for the most part stopped drug and alcohol abuse.  I can say for sure that her myriad of mental problems is genetic not due to the way she was raised.  Harden your heart toward these miserable creatures and try to let the natural consequences of their actions occur and protect yourself financially.  Keep us posted.

Kathy