Uma, My heart goes out to you during this hard time. I completely understand what you mean that you refuse to believe it in your heart, I feel the same way with losing Dave. It's been weeks and time goes by unnoticed, it's all a bad dream and seems like one long day. I wish I could say or do something to ease your heart but I do know nothing will. My prayers are with you and your family and know that the ones who are sufferring now, is us here on earth who are left behind for now.