The day before Pepsi was here with me. I could see he was feeling better not vomiting. He enjoyed the crème fraishe that was all he was able to keep. I was surprised as he was walking around and looking in to the rooms and then watched up to the closed door to the terrace. He wanted to go out there and have a look so I let him. It was so chilly, wet and dark out there but he did not hesitate, he went out looking. Maybe Pepsi wanted to see if the sunshine and the birds�?song were there. He walked through the rooms, just looking. Then he layed down under the old writing table in the living room and jus watched from there with his big beautiful eyes focused on me. Was he saying farewell? My heart was squeezed by pain. Later during the evening when we both were left alone by my assistant he turned puzzled like not knowing what will happen next. "Baby my Baby, what is bothering you?" I thought he was restless. Then the convulsions started. It was hard on the broke little bony body. Poor darling was suffering and he had not any strength to complain. This time it was too much. I realized I had made the right decision for him. I could not stand out seeing him suffer any more. He could not take any more. When he finally was done and the floor was messy he could jump up to his warm sleeping place on my office chair. I had to clean up the floor first to be able to reach him and wash his dear little face, even the tip of his tail was smeared. I cried over him and his suffering. During these two last weeks he had been going down hill very fast.  "Tomorrow on the day of the Queen of the lights you will go where is no pain, no fear, no suffering. I will stay with you till you have entered the gate way." As soon as I had cleaned him, kissed him and talked to him wetting him with my tears he slept. "My Baby, you deserve to be relieved from this. I love you." And I cried again. Pepsi was put to sleep at the clinic on Tuesday. He purred on my lap till he fall peacefully asleep with his face tucked to my elbow while I whispered and kissed him. 2005-12-13 ♥Messagebacks by Schatzi�?/FONT>