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beating on pillows<O:P> </O:P>
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beating on a mattress<O:P> </O:P>
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stomping on floor<O:P> </O:P>
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beating a bed with tennis or racquetball racket<O:P> </O:P>
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beating a rug with a stick<O:P> </O:P>
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hitting a weight bag or punching bag<O:P> </O:P>
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physical exertion, i.e., playing racquetball, tennis, hand ball, etc.<O:P> </O:P>
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yelling in a car with windows closed<O:P> </O:P>
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yelling in a paper bag<O:P> </O:P>
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ripping up a telephone book or newspapers<O:P> </O:P>
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hammering nails in a board<O:P> </O:P>
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games in an amusement park that require pounding<O:P> </O:P>
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throwing soft objects<O:P> </O:P>
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beating a pillow or bed with a foam or plastic bat<O:P> </O:P>
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karate or judo practice<O:P> </O:P>
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beating drums<O:P> </O:P>
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loud yelling<O:P> </O:P>
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screaming at a concert or sports event<O:P> </O:P>
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screaming in a vacant field or park<O:P> </O:P>
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using a shovel to dig holes in the dirt<O:P> </O:P>
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hitting balls or stones with a baseball bat<O:P> </O:P>
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hitting a ball against a wall with racket or hand<O:P> </O:P>
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bowling to hit all the pins down<O:P> </O:P>
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writing a letter of anger, but ripping it up the next day - not mailing it<O:P> </O:P>
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expressing feelings by writing in a journal<O:P> </O:P>
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wringing a wet towel<O:P> </O:P>
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using a hammer to smash glass in a bag<O:P> </O:P>
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kneading bread or play dough<O:P> </O:P>
<O:P> What are some steps to work out unresolved anger to resolve past issues?<O:P> </O:P><O:P></O:P>
In handling a ``current'' anger situation you may have come upon a ``trigger'' event that brings up past feelings of hurt, pain, resentment, hostility, or anger. The trigger event is not what you are actually reacting to, but rather it is the past situation, (one that went unresolved) to which you are reacting.<O:P> </O:P><O:P></O:P>
The following steps will assist you in working out this unresolved anger:<O:P> </O:P><O:P></O:P>
Step 1. Take a pillow or cushion and go alone to your bedroom or to a quiet location.<O:P> </O:P><O:P> </O:P>
Step 2. Position yourself so that you are kneeling in front of the pillow or cushion, which is either on a bed, a chair or the floor.<O:P> </O:P>
Step 3. Begin to visualize a scene or series of scenes surrounding the situation, event, or person with which you have unresolved anger.<O:P> </O:P><O:P></O:P>
Step 4. As you are visualizing the scene, begin to pound your pillow and yell out how you ``feel'' about the situation, event, or person. Yell your guts out!<O:P> </O:P><O:P></O:P>
Step 5. Continue pounding the pillow and letting out your feelings until you feel satiated.<O:P> </O:P><O:P></O:P>
Step 6. At this point begin to use your reason and rationality to reframe or restate the situation. Begin to allow yourself to forgive those situations, events, or persons for what happened to you. Do not proceed to the next step until you can come to a ``healing'' of your spirit at this point.
If you are stuck, repeat Steps 3 and 4.<O:P> </O:P><O:P></O:P>
Step 7. Once you feel as if you have been able to forgive and you feel healing beginning, write down what it was that made the reframed or restated situation have less blame and thus be able to be forgiven.<O:P> </O:P><O:P></O:P>
Step 8. If person(s) involved in the unresolved anger situation are still available (alive) and capable of communicating on a healing, non-blaming, feeling level, share your resolution with them and let the forgiveness and healing become alive.<O:P> </O:P><O:P></O:P>
If the person(s) involved are unavailable, let the forgiveness and healing take hold in your heart.<O:P> </O:P><O:P></O:P>
Step 9. If in the future a trigger event brings up this same unresolved anger, repeat Steps one through eight. For some unresolved anger situations, you may need to repeat these steps many, many times.<O:P> </O:P>
<O:P> Steps to improving your Anger Work-Outs
Step 1: In order to improve my ability to work anger out of my life, I first need to assess my understanding of anger. To do this I will answer the following questions in my journal:<O:P> </O:P>
A. What is my definition of anger?<O:P> </O:P>
B. What usually makes me angry?<O:P> </O:P>
C. Who usually makes me angry?<O:P> </O:P>
D. What ``hot buttons'' are likely to arouse my anger?<O:P> </O:P>
E. How do I usually express my anger?<O:P> </O:P>
F. How healthy is my expression of anger?<O:P> </O:P>
G. How do I feel when I am in the midst of expressing anger?<O:P> </O:P>
H. How do I feel after I have expressed my anger?<O:P> </O:P>
I. What are the benefits of my openly expressing anger?<O:P> </O:P>
J. What inhibits my ability to express anger?<O:P> </O:P>
K. How do others react to my open expression of anger?<O:P> </O:P>
L. What negative results occur from my expression of anger?<O:P> </O:P>
M. What is the positive outcome of my expression of anger?<O:P> </O:P>
N. Where are my problems with anger rooted?<O:P> </O:P>
O. How can I recognize my anger and then express it in a healthy way?<O:P> </O:P>
Step 2: Once I've analyzed current anger in my life, I need to recognize past, unresolved anger by answering the following questions:<O:P> </O:P>
P. What anger issues in my life remain unresolved?<O:P> </O:P>
Q. Who are the people with whom I still have unresolved anger?<O:P> </O:P>
R. What events continue to conjure up anger for me today?<O:P> </O:P>
S. What attempts have I made to work on my unresolved anger?<O:P> </O:P>
T. How can I free myself up to work on my unresolved anger?<O:P> </O:P>
U. What inhibits me about anger work-out on my unresolved issues?<O:P> </O:P>
V. How can I forgive, forget, and heal the past anger?<O:P> </O:P>
W. In reading the following piece written by Robert Muller, the former Assistant Secretary General of the United Nations, I feel I am ready to do anger work-out on both current and unresolved past issues.<O:P> </O:P>
Decide to Forgive<O:P> </O:P>
by Robert Muller<O:P> </O:P>
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Decide to forgive<O:P> </O:P>
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For resentment is negative<O:P> </O:P>
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Resentment is poisonous and devours the self<O:P> </O:P>
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Be the first to forgive, to smile and to take the first step,<O:P> </O:P>
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And you will see happiness bloom<O:P> </O:P>
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On the face of your human brother or sister.
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Be always the first<O:P> </O:P>
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Do not wait for others to forgive.<O:P> </O:P>
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For by forgiving,<O:P> </O:P>
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You become the master of fate,<O:P> </O:P>
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The fashioner of life, the doer of miracles.<O:P> </O:P>
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To forgive is the highest,<O:P> </O:P>
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Most beautiful form of love.
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In return you will receive<O:P> </O:P>
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Untold peace and happiness.<O:P> </O:P>
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Here is the program for achieving a truly forgiving heart:<O:P> </O:P>
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Sunday: Forgive yourself<O:P> </O:P>
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Monday: Forgive your family.<O:P> </O:P>
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Tuesday: Forgive your friends and associates.<O:P> </O:P>
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Wednesday: Forgive across economic lines within your own nation.<O:P> </O:P>
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Thursday: Forgive across cultural lines within your own nations.<O:P> </O:P>
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Friday: Forgive across political lines within your own nation.<O:P> </O:P>
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Saturday: Forgive other nations.<O:P> </O:P>
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Only the brave know how to forgive. <O:P></O:P>
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A coward never forgives. It is not in his nature.<O:P> </O:P>
Step 3: I will use the anger work-out for all current anger events.<O:P> </O:P>
Step 4: I will use anger work-out for all past, unresolved anger issues.<O:P> </O:P>
Step 5: I will use the following anger work-out activities for a minimum of fifteen minutes daily. To relieve my built up feelings of anger.<O:P> </O:P>
My anger work-out tasks will include:<O:P> </O:P>
A.<O:P> </O:P>
B.<O:P> </O:P>
C.<O:P> </O:P>
D.<O:P> </O:P>
E.<O:P> </O:P>
Step 6: If I still have unresolved anger, I will return to Step 1, and begin again.
</O:P></O:P></O:P>