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| | From:  Silken2004 (Original Message) | Sent: 1/2/2007 6:33 AM |
If we look around, we can find LOTS of reasons and inspirations to keep hoping to find that ecstatically-passionate love with someone who is also looking for the same OR to create those blissful times with someone already in our lives... Post YOUR reasons for believing that romantic, exciting love can still be found... Here's mine for today.... |
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I too have found love on the net! I met a wonderful man at a time in my life that I had given up on love and thought that happiness would never be mind again. We became friends and then decided to meet in person. We chose a neutral place and from the first hug I so felt like I was "home". Not sure I had ever quite felt that way before. I was very skeptical, being very cynical of net flings.........so I proceded very cautiously at first. After the initial meeting we met twice more in a different neutral location for about 2 wks each time. It was wonderful to spend time and get to know him and how we fit together so well. We both had feelings that neither wanted to admit, but it was very hard to keep them secret as well! To make a long story short I now live with this man.........I moved across the country from California to New York City and have never looked back. He truely is the love of my life! We are planning our life together which will include leaving this crazy city and moving to florida, which btw was a place we went together. Thanks for reading my little story. See love on the net can happen! |
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INSPIRING! Thank you Slinky for sharing that wonderful story with us! It does a heart good to know that Love can be found in all sorts of places! And it goes to show you.......if you take a chance you can really find love and happiness! |
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Well, I believe in love... it may not be the perfect love, nor may it be the kind of love some people crave and desire, but it's the type of love I want and need. Rat and I's story... As a single mother, I had taken to being on the internet in chat sites instead of going out on real life dates. I preffered talking to people as a group, then going out and being in a bar. I would talk to lotsa guys on here, some pretty perverse, some pretty decent. I had met a gal who was from my home town, and we started comparing people we knew. She had mentioned a guy that frequented the same chat, and she had apparently stayed with him for a couple days whilest she got her life straightened out in a new town (strictly platonic, as she had lesbian tendancies and her self cleaning mode was broken... *shudder*). So, I got a hankering to know who this guy was, if I had met him before, what he was like... the gotta know factor that sits in the back of one's mind until they finally find out whatever it was they hadta know. I finally caught up with him in chat, we gabbed for a bit, exchanged emails, got on to eachothers messenger and started casually talking. I was casually internet dating someone else, so it hadn't progressed past the occasional hello, so n so is driving me crazy, etc etc... This was Rat and I's beginning. I quickly found out that I couldn't stand Rat. He drove me crazy. He was on my blocked list more then he was on my unblocked. We would fight, ban eachother, tell eachother off... however, occasionally, we could sit and have a decent convo, found out we were both interested in the same weird crap that most people shook their heads at, and when in a decent mood, could gab hours away (in fact, he contributed to a $400 phone bill one night). He had asked me to move back to the Okanagan quite a few times, but with utter dismay from me (my ex being here) and to my mothers dismay (cuz I would be bringing my son with me, and my ex lived here). She didn't get along with Rat either, and had a tif with him via the net about the whole schmoozle. I had finally decided to make the big jump, move in with my father to restart my life in the Okanagan and well, just simply get on with it where I had some knowledge of the area and had some contacts (I disliked Victoria and things were not goin as well as initially planned). Rat and I met at the airport, he drove both my son and I home, with a short pitstop at my old time ex best friends house to wish her a merry xmas (it was christmas day). Rat and I went through 2 weeks of hanging out almost everyday, him having to drive an hour to come see me and then an hour back. It was great fun, til one day, 2 weeks in, he exclaims that he 'loves me'... gasp, ack, oh gawd, wtf do I say to that?!? heh, thanks :) I think. Keep in mind, we had already been talking for darn near 6-8 months over the net. I didn't really say a whole bunch, thinking about how great it'd be to be single, to do my own thing, to be independant... I had so many wonderful ideals of how things would work out, how I would crawl my way to the top of my game, how I could achieve by myself... We made the decision to move in together on January 1st. Me into his house of course. 6 months later, we moved out to the country. It's been going swell so far, he still drives me crazy, I wish I had a mouse to be able to put him on block, that sort of thing. But, point is, we have gone through a few rough patches, we have made it work, are still going pretty strong, and it's been so far, 4 yrs. Not bad for the dreaded *gasp* internet relationship. That's my story... (I seem to be full of stories lately, lol) p.s. I am still working on the 'gonna be an independant business woman' idea... That hasn't strayed far, however, I am working on a direction... It'll come to me one day... |
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All good stories, and in particualar Shyann's story. You see, after 17 years of marriage, I have come to believe that marriage is 75% tolerance, and the rest is inter-sprinkled with the love, respect and lust that we all crave. It's inevitable that after that kind of time, passionate love takes a back seat to real life issues and the struggle to survive and thrive, as well as raising kids. And honestly, it's not a bad thing. As a fickle woman, we are always looking for that emotional, all encompassing passion that we first felt. We become addicts to it, and can't understand that men do not feel the same way. Sometimes I think men have the right idea. Whenever a woman asks, "What happened to us?" they have the quip "I'm in bed with you everynight, aren't I?" before he rolls over to go to sleep. They don't worry about it, obsess over it, and get all upset over it. They know what they wanted, they got it, and thier lives are complete. Why CAN'T we, as women, be just as happy? It took me 15 years and a trial separation to "find myself" for 3 months to figure out that my husband had the right idea. Who else would put up with me? For that matter, who else would put up with him? We fit each other, both of us with our odd eccentricities...sure the passion has taken a flying leap out the window, but so what? We have now settled into happy middle life, our kids are almost grown, and we are happy and content. What else can you possibly ask for? That is what love is.....struggling to keep what you have, together! |
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Very well said Parlour!!!! |
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I am finding this thread one of our most enjoyable and interesting threads in the Fireplace... The more it evolves, the more meaningful it becomes... I love that!!! In our almost 4 years of being a romance room on the Net, we have seen a lot of people go from "forever single" to being deeply in love with someone they've met on the Net... We have also seen a gazillion broken hearts... I, for one, would be hard-pressed to say which state is more stressful to a person because as wonderful as the excitement of a new beginning is, it also brings with it a great deal of fear... and sometimes even, ridiculously high expectations from one person or the other... Not one person has posted here that "love" is those initial chemical attractions and I agree with that... Instead, it is the daily sharing of life's journey with someone you "fit" with as Parlour says... Shyann points out that she and Ratsolo got off to a bit of a rough beginning but those two seemed destined for one another and to see them together now, you'd think they'd been married for 20 years EXCEPT that their eyes still sparkle when they look at one another... Parlour asks why women can't be happy but I would stretch that further to include both genders... And the answer is.. "fear"... You can't live in this world and not see the climbing divorce statistics, hear about somebody being unfaithful or cheating and you can't avoid the numbers on how many murders are the result of domestic violence... I believe that society and the media have set us all up for ending up with inadequate feelings and giving us the impression that the "grass is always greener"... It isn't that either gender doesn't want to be happy... Everyone wants to sit by the fire when it's all cozy and bright... BUT... it's about being willing to help build the fire when it starts to go out or getting off our duffs to chop wood when the firewood starts to run low... I think if we threw out our televisions, quit buying magazines that promote crappy "anything goes" values and concentrated on "intimacy" rather than "eroticism", we would all find that love is many things... and different things in the changing seasons of our lives... We just have to get rid of the things that are causing so many, so much fear... Silken |
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I say again......... "Without that belief then what are we striving for in relationships? Why bother working at them? Why try???? "love is love........and is amazing. Once you've had it in your life......could you ever imagine NOT having it there again????? Not me." |
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I have found that there are times in life when we will blossom like roses in the rain of someone else's love for us. And there are times when we will be without the love of others but will have to focus on helping others to grow from the love we've been given... So yes LadySis.. I CAN imagine my life without having someone to love me. I feel that it is at those times that I probably do more growing of my own because I need to focus on loving others so they can also grow... I would never willingly choose to be without it but I am peaceful in knowing that whether I am generating the love or it is coming from someone else, life is what it is meant to be... always a process and always changing to give us opportunities to grow... Luv n hugggs, Silken |
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