Suicide: A View From Both Sides

 

Australian Medium
ANTHONY GRZELKA

 

 

I would like everyone here in the room with us today to just stop for 30 seconds. Please clear your minds and focus your thoughts on others here in the rooms that have been touched by a suicide event.

Focus your thoughts of love and understanding for them here now and also for there loved ones and friends in spirit who have taken their lives. My blessings to those of you here who have been touched by a suicide for showing courage to be here with me today&

The subject of Suicide is never an easy one even for a medium like myself who sees and deals with many, many people who are left behind after the event. In fact, the reason why suicide is such a difficult reality to be faced with is really to do with those that are indeed left behind.

"While the person who commits suicide dies only once, the loved ones left behind may die a thousand deaths wondering why."   Anonymous

The  wondering why  is the biggest single issue that is left behind for the loved ones here who have to pick up the pieces that a suicide leaves us with. The disturbing thing is the trend toward suicide is on the increase: In fact we are told that every 17 minutes in the USA someone ends his or her own life. Suicide is the third highest cause of death in the 14 25 years age group.

That is frightening!

So what motivates someone to take his or her own life?? That I m afraid, is the million-dollar question and even the greatest minds in the world struggle with that. I think the reasons come down to the following:

(1) Our motive for wanting to do the act,

(2) The outcome we are trying to achieve by doing it,

(3) The actual outcome that results from the act,

(4) Our mental and physical condition at the time of the act&

It may be feelings of guilt, inadequacy, anger, fear, even revenge. Whatever the reasons, the results are the same I m afraid.

So what is running through a persons mind the seconds before their physical life is gone? Over the years of talking to my clients as a medium and connecting to literally hundreds of suicides, several things have become clear.

The first is that the perception or the expectations tend to be determined by the age of the energy that decides to end his or her life.

In an overwhelming number of connections I have made to the spirits of young people who have decided to end their lives, it seems at the time just before they take the plunge, they express the feeling of an almost dream like state.

A state of mind where death is no longer a  real  concept. Death becomes more like going to sleep, with the real thought that when they wake up things will be different, their pain will be gone.

Almost as if  when I come out of this death thing (and they believe they will) my drug problem will be gone or people will like me.

Their reality is that they will some how survive this, and get to continue their life here but will just have different circumstances that will prevail. This error in a persons thinking can in many cases be the one that prevails at the point of no return. The rational thinking that death is the end of our physical life just does not enter the head at this time.

Of course in many other connections I feel the persons despair and complete misery. I have been given in many readings the feelings of self-loathing; self hate and complete disappointment in the life they lived.

These feelings are very destructive to the human spirit and along with feelings of failure and guilt are the catalysts for suicide. Individuals who come to me with these feelings tend to be energies that have very serious soul damage, and are being intensively cared for on the other side of life.

They will generally come to me almost escorted by their helpers and loved ones on the other side. They will help this damaged energy to communicate and maintain the connection to me during the reading. It seems that the energy levels of these individuals can be so low that holding a connection with me becomes difficult without help.

On even rarer occasions energies will come to me expressing feelings of anger and with thoughts of revenge prior to their passing. Although rare, these energies leave this life believing that their suicide will teach others to respect them or in a way that is like saying & that will teach you .

These are the hardest to understand or to reconcile with.

These individuals set out to hurt and to upset those left behind, unlike the preceding groups who in most cases life has just gotten too hard and the lessons too great to keep living.

Most suicides when connecting with me during my work come to me in a very unique way, a way that lets me know that they have taken their own life.

The feeling is unmistakable & It is a feeling of responsibility and acceptance of the circumstances that ended their life.

As I have said, whatever the reason the result is the same. Spiritually why is it so wrong to take your own life, and what Karmic effects does it have?

Imagine for a moment the finest woven rug you can. Picture all the individual threads of different colours and texture weaving through this wondrous rug. See how every strand, every individual thread makes the whole.

How each thread weaves through to connect with other threads along the way and this makes the rug one, and strong. Imagine if you will, that each thread represents a person, an energy living a physical life.

As a person s thread weaves through the rug it criss-crosses many other threads interacting and combining with each one. This interaction and interdependence is vital to maintain the whole fabric & the integrity of the whole is determined by each of these interconnections.

Now what if we stop a thread part way through the weave, we take it out part way through its journey across the rug...

Consider what happens to all of the other threads in the rug that depended on this thread that depended on its support and interaction for their own spiritual development and advancement.

If the thread is not there if we remove our thread from the rug we remove all of the support our thread was to lend the other threads of life that where supposed to connect with us.

We take away the experience of us, of our energy for every one else, for every other thread we were contracted to connect with and we leave a hole.

Think about what we have written so far for just a moment...

This hole, this weakness in the blanket, leaves a void in the learning that we contracted to offer others in this life. This is critical to understanding the effect we have when we suicide. The fact that for all intents and purposes, we are breaking our contract by taking our own lives, by removing our thread from the rug.

A contract negotiated long before we took our first breath here in the physical.

Remember this contract and the termination of this due to suicide reverberates through all those threads that were meant to connect with us. We do not only break the contract we had for ourselves but for all the other energies we contracted / agreed to help learn and grow.

So we have seen what happens to the rug, it is weakened, there is a hole. All those other threads now have to find others who can teach them the lessons that they were to get from you.

The importance of this cannot be understated!

For some energies, the role may have been a minor part in their development here and another route can be established with relative ease. Other threads perhaps, having to alter their learning and development slightly, to accommodate these energies.

But what of the energies of those that were still to connect?

Those energies that we were to have had a much bigger impact on, that we were to have a big part in teaching and helping& what do they do?

Where do they go to learn the things that you where supposed to offer them to help fulfill their own learning contracts?

I have experienced many times during my readings, that those who have chosen to leave this life, a real sense of profound loss and an intimate understanding of what they have done.

On passing to the spirit realm, they have been shown the ripple effect their passing has had on those left behind, and those still yet to come into their life.

The 17 year old young man who took his own life will be shown the heartache and distress left behind for his family. He will see the wife and children he would have had. His daughter s wedding, his son s graduation, his grandchildren, and their lives.

He would be shown the life he has cut short in all its greatness.

This is a suicides lot when they pass. This is the true impact of a suicide. They will need to face up to the true reality of what their passing has meant to the fabric of life as a whole.

Many who cross themselves over thinking they were of no good to anyone, and felt they had no place here on earth soon see the truth. Once they understand this truth the healing can begin.

Now are you all still with me? I hope so.... Have a stretch, take a couple of deep breaths and we will move on...

Contrary to many religious teachings however, there will be no fire and brimstone. There will be no God sitting in judgment of what they have done. They will not suffer an eternity for the taking of their own life.

They will be taken away with love and understanding to review how their life developed and why the lessons became too hard.

It is important to understand with these energies that many are damaged souls for whom the physical world became too much. There are no big sticks in the afterlife, just friends and family and many others who wish to help and nurture the energies of those that suicide.

Look at it this way, if your child was shown how to tie her shoelaces a few times and then has a few attempts herself at tying them but does not succeed, what do you do?

Do you take to her with a stick until she gets it??

Or do we help and show her again and again with love and patience until that great day with a big smile she yells that she s done it!

It is almost as if the spirits have described it to me that they are held outside of the general spirit population. This enables them to heal and reflect on a life cut short. Again I must stress this is not done with anger, fear or retribution & it is done with love, compassion and understanding.

There have been many well documented near death experiences (NDE s) that can help validate the things we are discussing here.

In particular is the near death experience of Sandra Rodgers. In her book  Lessons From The Light  Sandra explains how when she experienced death after a suicide attempt she was surrounded by beings of light and love.

She did not experience negative energies of any kind, only love and peace from her family and friends in spirit:

 I arrived at some place where all my relatives had gathered: my grandmother, my grandfather, my father, and my uncle who had recently committed suicide. They all came to me and greeted me...

Sandra was given a choice to return and continue her life in the physical word. Obviously she chose to return and has indeed lived a full life.

It is true that some people when they return to tell the tale of their NDE, they have had negative experiences, but so do some people who pass in other ways. This is largely due to the expectation, or the reality we have in relation to where we go when we pass, and less to do with the death of the physical body itself.

So what is the soul to do once it realises its mistake? What is the course of action for these damaged energies once the transition into spirit is commences?

It is my belief and my understanding that suicide energies can commit to several courses of action.

As with Sandra Rodgers, the soul may indeed be offered very early in the spirit transition the chance to return. The soul may indeed be shown many different aspects and thoughts of their life and if the physical body is not too damaged, be allowed and able to return to the physical body.

This would enable the energy to complete its mission here in the physical world. These I feel are indeed the lucky ones.

If the soul does not wish to return, or cannot due to the damage inflicted to the physical body, the soul will have some choices to make.

As discussed earlier the energy during transition is placed in a position to review its life and the effects of what they have done to themselves and to others. This energy would then be in a position to continue to heal in spirit with the help of family and loved ones already in spirit.

It cannot maintain this position indefinitely however, and at some point will have to continue the learning. It appears that most will be given the option to reincarnate.

The soul would however have been through an extensive preparation for another life. The life and the lessons associated with it will be as hard or harder than the one they opted out of. This is necessary.

The energy will be better equipped for this next try at the same life situations. Hopefully the help and support from spirit will help the energy to make better decisions the next time around.

This situation may be repeated many times until the soul has worked through its karmic debt and the contract has been satisfied.

There is another option open to the suicide energy.

Some souls become so fearful and so damaged perhaps from many attempts to fulfill their contracts that they just cannot bring themselves to return. In this situation it is possible to fulfill our learning while still in the spirit realm.

This is difficult and a much slower process. Imagine reading a recipe on baking a chocolate cake, every day you read the recipe but you do not have the necessary items to actually bake the cake.

The theory is in place, but the hands on experience of actually baking the cake is missing. Without baking the cake how can you truly experience it?

I think it is important to consider that we are never made to do anything.

Our soul will be drawn to experiencing itself and growing. Some will move through faster than others& that is the way of things.

In my work as a medium I have experienced many suicide energies. The fact that they have crossed themselves over does not preclude them from contact with those left behind. In fact, in some cases I believe that part of a suicides healing in the spirit realm, part of reaching an understanding of what has happened, is to help those left behind to heal.

This is very important to understand for those left behind...

I have passed on many messages that reflect an energies desire to help their loved ones left behind to heal. By doing this they are healing themselves in the spirit realm. I also believe this is a way from the spirit realm to repay karmic debt accumulated by the suicide action itself.

If you are all still with me, and I hope you are, I would like to end this  with a controversial issue. I would like to touch on the subject of euthanasia. Is this suicide or not??

I know that all here will have their own feelings on this and I respect that. I will give you my views here for your consideration. If we go back to the rug of life, remember the one where every thread represents a life being lived, the threads interacting and criss crossing over each other.

Lets have a look at the 17-year-old man again who crosses himself over and effectively takes out his thread very early in its journey across the life rug. The many threads that were to have connected with him are now unable to.

As I have stated, some were destined to have very strong and meaningful connections and that much learning was to be gained.

Some again as I have stated, will have a lesser connection. Because his journey had just begun many connections will never be made, leaving a massive void in the rug. Those connections will be lost forever & well, at least in that lifetime.

A lot of energies may indeed because of this, be faced with an altered life contract because of the early removal of his energy. Of course the physical body and mind has no idea what is actually happening, but the soul would be acutely aware.

Let us now take a 80 year old man who is terminally ill with cancer. His whole life is coming down to the last 6 months. His thread has indeed traveled a long distance across the rug, he has connected with many, many others on his journey, he has learnt much and has taught others many things.

The man removes his thread from the rug right at the end of his life. It may not be what his life plan called for and indeed there may have still been a few connections to be made, however the damage is minimal. His thread in the rug has contributed to the whole and has remained strong.

The hole in the rug is no more than a pinhole and in most cases inconsequential. His thread in the rug has contributed to the whole and has remained strong. The hole in the rug is no more than a pinpoint and in most cases is inconsequential.

It may be argued that his death was his learning, and in some cases I would agree. However in most cases, I believe the learning and the teaching aspects of his life would be over, so I would not place this in the same realm as a suicide, at least spiritually speaking.

I can see some of you shaking your heads at this, and I have to say again I talk here from my experience, and what I have received from the spirits I have connected with.

I can recall a connection I made some time ago with a man who was entering into the worst stages of a long illness. This would see him totally devoid of his body functions. He chose at this point to end his life, which he did.

When I connected with his spirit he did not have the usual feeling I associate with a suicide, and as was revealed as the reading progressed, he did not consider himself a suicide.

Responsible yes, but he at least did not consider himself a suicide.

I hope that this seminar has given those of you who have been touched by suicide, some insight into the spiritual aspects of taking ones own life. We are left behind with nothing but questions and very few answers. The answers I m afraid are never clear.

I can tell you that in many cases the spirits of those that have taken their own lives are unable to answer why they did what they did. Generally the decision to take ones life is one based on a misconception and irrational logic. It is important to rest easy in the knowledge however that they are receiving help and understanding and they are at peace.

However, irrespective of my thoughts, if you think someone you love is at risk of committing suicide seek professional help immediately! Depending on the country you live in, there are many free services to access.

They range from suicide emergency hotlines through to counseling services. Your local doctor can also be of assistance.

Australia has a particularly good website that deals with depression and suicide called Beyond Blue. You can access it at: http://www.beyondblue.com.au

It is loaded with useful resources, plus a simple checklist that will help you assess whether someone you love is at risk. Always treat anyone who mentions taking his or her own life seriously. Get them to professional counselors who specialise in dealing with suicide or depression.

 

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yes, there are some occasions that I do feel that energies do contract suicide. This however, would be a teaching experience rather than a learning one. But it is entirely possible that they would be written into a contact, but I feel this is very rare

 

The same areas that most suicides would go to. However, their understanding and their teaching on the other side would be different.
They would be handled as we would handle children, with love care and understanding. These are special energies and need great attention. But remember, no big sticks! Just love, peace and understanding.
They are at peace... they are understanding of what has happened, but very much at peace. Please understand & that energies that suicide, whether children or not, do not wander aimlessly. It just doesn t happen. Not by choice of the spirit world anyway. It is possible that suicide energies are unable to fathom their death immediately, and full transition into the spirit world can take a little longer.

 

 

Yes, most definitely. Any experience we have in a lifetime whilst in the physical is imprinted on our soul. Traumatic experiences such as suicide can leave deep wounds, and thoughts or flashes may intrude into our present lifetime. They do not however have to determine your current lifetime.

 

They will be there to greet us. The fact that they passed due to suicide does not alter how we will be greeted and met on the other side

 

It is important to for them to understand that although they are helped with love and understanding on the other side - would they really want to relive the experience (whatever they are going through) time and time again? The other side will help over and over again - of that there is no doubt, but ultimately we need to understand that we need to live the same experience again and again until we get it right and in some situations the lessons will be even tougher. Perhaps a good option here would be to show them the experiences you have had, that reflect some of the experiences that they are now having, and you made it through - show by example. As older people we must mentor our younger generations - not cousell, but mentor. Lead from the front is what I am talking about.

 

Just one last thing... It is important for our youth to develop their natural skills of coping, which these days seem to be taking away through over counseling. Obviously it is important to help develop these natural skills, but I have found that over counseling can be harmful.

 

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Anthony Grzelka has been communicating with spirit most of his 37 years. Anthony conducts mediumship and spiritual seminars throughout Australia inspiring people to develop their own techniques for spiritual enlightenment. For more information on Anthony Grzelka and his work, visit his web site at: http://www.whispersfrombeyond.com.au

 

For resources and help regarding suicide prevention, please visit  http://www.beyondblue.org.au