I am not sure where to put this, but if this is the wrong board, please redirect it.

 

I  am guessing that everyone knows what a big satellite dish looks like so I don't have to draw one for you. I hope.
Imagine a tiny dot not bigger than the one you put on an i in the middle of that huge dish.
That's where I am.
Now imagine you stand in front of the largest sound installation they use in concerts like Live Aid or The Rolling Stones, Led Zeppelin or Gun'nRoses and the power is on at fullest. And imagine a single little spider in front of it.
That spider is me.
I had a crash today.
I call it a crash because that is what it feels like.
You could also call it a collapse, but that is not what happened, I stayed up right, didn't fall down, all though I felt like wanting to lay down I didn't.
All the sounds of the world, all the feelings of the world and all the images of the world fell down, on little me.
Like the worst snow storm ever, it just showered me. It felt like being in the middle of an avalanche.
Ever tried to stay up right during an avalanche? Or wind force 15?
I tried to shut down all machines in the house, fridge included, computer too, yes. But still it was too noizy.
My helper was here cleaning the house and even though she tiptoed through the rooms, I could hear her breath and her heartbeat. She cannot know what I hear and what I feel when I hear whatever sound there possibly could be.
Yes, sounds moves. Sounds touches too.
I'll explain that one day to you and I'll try to draw the movements of sound to you too.
It is never fully still, never completely silence, never really quiet.
I sat there holding my hands against my ears, trying to block out all noice.
Forget it! It is impossible. Because then you would hear your own breathing, your own heartbeat and the sound of the blood running through your veins.
I wanted to shout out like a teacher in front of a whole class of thired graders :"Shut up! Quiet!"
But that would be very rude to my helper and all of the neighbours I have (I live in an appartement block for elderly people). Besides there was noone else there except my three cats and four goldfish. I just could get my head quiet again. And when it finally got peacefull again, I couldn't get the movements out of my system and then I couldn't get the waves from my eyes, even if I shutted them tight. I'll show you a drawing I made from what I see when I close my eyes at night and when I am in a very good and peaceful mood, after I have scanned it and uploaded it.
Anyway, I had a small talk with my helper, the darling, she is from Indonesia and boy does she know and understand much. She listened to what I told her had happened just yet, about the waves and the movements, the noice and the eyes I always see. And she just said:"Well sweet Lizzy, you are just hearing and seeiing the Universe, that's all.
"THANK YOU!
That was something I needed to get confirmed. Again. Because, frankly, I do sometimes think I am plain crazy, myself!
But I am not, that has been confirmed by a psychiatrist, a psychologist, a rheumatologist and several gp's.
This does show you how ever, that even being a medium and being in touch with the complete universe, gets crashes too. So I had a good long cry, a hand on my shoulder and a voice saying I should start drawing what I feel and what I see or hear, because that could not only work therapeutic, it could also help others who deal with this too, because I am not the only one. BY FAR!
So get your chest wet and prepare for some really crazy pictures.
In time. Because I have to draw them first of course. Here is one now:

(click for a bigger pic)
This is the very first try and it doesn't do justice to the real thing. But it gives you a tiny impression.
And this is only when all is quiet and peaceful.