I am very sorry for the pain and loss of people close to those who suicide.  That is a very difficult and confusing loss to experience.  "I hope you are doing OK," we say wondering what we can really express to help.   There is so much that goes on in our own minds when someone suicides, including the questioning.  Not only do we question what might have happened to make a person make this choice, but if we believe in an afterlife, we wonder what they are experiencing even after this.  "Will they be trapped in hell forever?" people often ask. 

 

I take solace in knowing that upon our personal ending of the physical, we leave our material pain here.  "...both gain and poverty are material conditions, existing only here," Kellog states in one of his writings.  Poverty, pain and suffering due to wants, ravaging of the physical body in diseases,...  those conditions do not go with someone.  All the money in the bank account and the nice car stays here too though.  

 

I am told to never say never, but nothing is completely hopeless.  I take comfort in that too.  Everything is in energy somewhere in the view of the worlds. I tell this to many others.  Who can really tell you what forever means when you see that symbol of the snake swallowing its own tail.  If the whole universe is renewed, so must everything that composes it be freed.  That means everyone and everything.

http://www.mu6.com/uroboros.html

 

 

 

 

 

 

I'm sorry you're in so much pain.  I've had days like that.  Sometimes fantasizing about dying ( the last breath ) was the highlight of my day.  I'm better now.  I hope that you will feel better too.   I hope you can feel the sun on your face again.

death is a contract.

 

One day, Gawd saw Adim doing something wunderful but paying no attention to why he did it (the something wunderful). So Gawd told Admin that it was more important that Adim embraced the illumination of the reason for the wunderful, than simply the rejoicing in the power of the wunderful.

 

Adim responded, "hey, I did it - that's all I care about right now, with all these pine needles in my butt from not wearing clothes, and did you see the wunder on that Evie over there, I SEE why you want me to say O My gawd, and...."

 

So Gawd decided to get Adim's attention. Gawd made a contract.

 

"Adim, yu will lose your illumination of your wunderfulness, and yu will exist in a series of puzzles that yu are free to ignore, play with, or solve at yur leisure. Each puzzle will begin with a beginning, and end with an ending. Yu will assume a requirement to fulfill each. With each beginning, yu will call the status "life" - and each ending yu will refer to it as "death". The importance of each and neither will provide yu the clew to seize each puzzle and move on to the next."

 

Adim, scratching his gonad, said, "Ah Gawd - do I get any shortcuts?"

 

Gawd laughed, and said, "As many as you think you need - but I will promise you that you get to make each puzzle last as long as your seed does".

Oh, oh...

Perhaps the puzzle is to learn to enjoy the play.

 

Thanks K !

 

Tara

Perhaps the "play" in the puzzle is learning to enjoy

In a lot of those dreams, you don't seem to be quite getting to where you are trying to go. That is ok though, you must be working on it.   

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1. Talking about suicide could spur someone to do it: FALSE. A caller telling you he wants to commit suicide is a cry for help before it's too late. Saying it out loud is really hard to do for these people. Such feelings are a heavy load to carry. When the caller finally gets through to someone and tells you he wants to commit suicide (or tells you he has attempted), he feels relief from telling it but also a guilty feeling of failure. When the caller tells you what is going on, keep in mind that just by being there and by listening, you are already helping enormously. Avoiding saying anything that could make the caller feel guilty should be one of your main goals. There is no room for open moralizing here. During these calls you need to be prepared to take more time than you’d take on an average emergency call. The patient may be crying or reluctant to say what is going on, but he still needs and wants your help. Taking the time that is necessary to deal with these callers also gives you time to realize that your intervention may have a positive impact on the patient’s outcome.

2. Suicidal people all suffer mental disorders: FALSE. Although these persons are obviously depressed to some extent, they are not necessarily psychiatric patients. In the same way, many psychiatric patients never become suicidal. This myth may have been reinforced with EMS personnel in recent years because, in the last decade, a large number of psychiatric patients have been released from institutions. However, close to half of all suicidal patients do suffer from one of these three main types of psychiatric problems: schizophrenia (psychosis), manic-depression, and major depression. Many of the remaining half are people that have behavioral problems such as alcoholism, toxicomania, drug abuse, or emotional disorders.

3. Persons that commit suicide are courageous: FALSE. But they are not cowards either. To the suicidal person, ending his life is the only solution he can actually find to stop his suffering. (See myth #6.) Let your suicidal callers know that you understand that they have a lot of pain and few apparent choices. But also give them hope: let them know that there may be light at the end of the tunnel, making it worth avoiding death.

4. Persons that are threatening to commit suicide only do it to get attention or to manipulate: FALSE. I’ve often heard this one in the dispatch center and from other health professionals. Have you? A preconceived notion is a serious danger zone in dispatch. Don't ever let one interfere with your actions to help the callers. Go with the facts, without judging the caller's integrity or reasons. So, while some suicide attempts might be only for attention, others are genuine attempts to end a life; all are requests for help and understanding. Either situation needs appropriate intervention, so your job as an EMD is to provide appropriate response and compassion.

5. Persons who are thinking about suicide should obviously look depressed: FALSE. Some people will strongly hide their feelings and continue with their usual activities. Men are much less inclined than women to be open about suicidal thoughts and to seek help. As you know they constitute the largest portion of the actual victims and many of them carry on with their everyday responsibilities without showing obvious distress (especially just before the act).

6. Suicidal persons have formally decided to die: FALSE. Suicidal people have conclusively decided to end their pain, but that's it. This suggests a "best bet" strategy: suggesting there may be other ways to stop the pain. Remember, their goal is to stop their suffering and the only solution they can find now is to end their life. Reassure your caller and emphasize that there might b another less radical solution.

7.Persons who want to commit suicide often don’t give their relatives indications of their intentions: FALSE. Some signs can be quite subtle. Statements like "You shouldn’t have to worry about me too much longer," or, "If things don’t get better, I know what to do," are common. Others signs are clearer indications. Suicide plans in agendas, with date and time. Even at the dispatch center, many calls come in from a third party caller saying they heard a suicidal announcement on the persons voice mail or answering machine. Always consider all these different messages being serious until proven otherwise.


8. One day suicidal, forever in trouble: FALSE. There really can be some good coming out of a suicidal crisis. I have a friend, who attempted suicide in our teenage years. But she failed and apparently learned some important lessons from the attempt and today I can't help but think how glad I am she is alive. She is happy with her life, proud of her kids, and far removed from her dramatic suicide attempt. Suicide doesn’t have to plague the caller forever. Although saying that "life is beautiful," and that, "after the rain comes the sun," is not appropriate when you are talking to suicidal callers, finding a way to make them get the idea that death is a radical, extreme solution that would deprive them of good moments in the future is a strong point you should make.

9. Suicide is hereditary: FALSE. Nobody is born that way. The suicide gene does not, as far as we know, exist. While genetics probably plays a role in depression, happiness, alcoholism, and a host of other good and bad human traits, a huge portion of what people become is dictated by their environment. Statistically, someone who has lost a relative from suicide is 7 times more at risk to also attempt suicide. While a genetic component cannot be ruled out, psychologists believe that the stress and trauma of losing a loved-one to suicide (their emotional environment) is the major factor in the increased suicide frequency among those who have been exposed to it.

10. Improvement after a crisis means that the danger is passed: FALSE. Sometimes after coming up with death as a final solution to stop the pain, these persons feel that they finally reached the end of their problem. This leads to a sense of relief, and they might suddenly appear happier for a short while. However, once the acute crisis is over, some risks can remain for a certain period of time.

http://www.emergencydispatch.org/JOURNAL/articles/SeetheLight.html