Release
Perhaps I will put the personal experience that I was planning to write about here soon. I have gone through this cycle before, and I was planning to write about my near death experience and my healing dream that followed it. Releasing can be very difficult. Perhaps what can be more difficult than release for the individual is releasing what does not belong to you because of bonds in your heart. You may have read earlier about how I got to the point of being so ill and suffering so much, that death or recovery were both welcome. That was perhaps easier than experiencing some of the losses of others. I was the one suffering and experiencing so I could feel only desire to finally go or finally stay. I felt every step of the way and understood. If it was my time to go, I was more than ready. When you cannot feel that process and need to go yourself, and the other person or living being is passing on, it can be difficult to release... sad to release. Change can be difficult, and chances are you wish to resist the changes, make things different. Sometimes you need to make the decision, sometimes it is not yours to make. Failure to release can cause another person more pain. How difficult it is to lose a loved one. A child, a parent, a loving pet. From the experience of losing my cat, Blackie, several people shared their pain with me. I spoke of how upset I was putting Blackie in a hospital and not wanting him to die there. He was originally a feral animal and happier in the briar patch. One man mentioned how hard it was to take his mom out of the home where she had spent most of her life and how that hurt him, but it was necessary. She passed on in the nursing home. In the book, the Doctor & the Soul, by Victor E. Frankl, MD, speaks about survival and meaning. People will survive in the more unfavorable conditions if it has meaning that is very specific and personal. It is a deep inner meaning only realized by the individual. Dr. Frankl gives several examples of perspective in this book. One man, for instance, was greiving terribly because of the death of his wife whom he loved dearly. "Tell me what would have happened if you had died first and your wife had survived you?" "That would have been terrible," he said. "How my wife would have suffered!" "Well you see," I answered, "Your wife has been spared that, and it was you who spared her, though of course you must now pay by surviving and mourning her." In that moment his mourning had been given a meaning--the meaning of sacrifice. Kellog once told me that one of the ways we learn is though our deaths and also through the deaths of those close to us. Sometimes the person does not have the experience of suffering themselves, but suffers or learns through their loving bonds with someone else. The person learns more about release and more about themself and more about what real love really is. Death, release, including mystical death, has great value and deep meaning. If you cannot find it, please have someone help you look for it. ---Evonne out of Astral |