The Anglian Connection

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they all shout in unison, yes it's superman ......no wait a min......it's a bird..............no it's super elf, nope that's not it either it's, it's Cappson and a stirpped Tiger in flying in for a landing in Capson's beautiful pea green plane, come to help . ........

Bet yer didn't even know there woz a page free ._Page 3

whereupon a little fairy flutters out of the bushes....and stands in front of the trailer.....arms folded,a very cross look on her face.....

*And how many times have I told you about pigging out on pizza Bonzer?*

She asked crossly...*and just what did you think you were going to do with all that wine.....get all your little friends drunk I suppose....*and with that she steps forward and takes the keys from the lil elfs bike and tucks them into her pocket.......yes...fairies have pockets.............

where did you think they kept their wands when they were not using them......... well really.....

and proceeds to tip all the piza into the ditch....boxing the little creature around the ears as she does so......

...yes...it's an ickle Elf!

They listen as he zooms towards the group on his (t)rusty Elfetta 50 GtiZXRTZDturboSEL.

The Elf approaches at very high speed, leaving a huge dust cloud behind him.

As he gets closer, they notice he's towing a trailer behind his scooter.....

The ickle Elf arrives, drives smack into some nice soft shrubbery (it's very

tricky for a not-too-bright elf to remember where the brakes are) and whizzes

through the air, landing in a green crumpled heap.

Bonzer gets to his feet, dusts himself down, puts his hat straight and wanders

round to the little trailer behind the scooter which has "Elfpress Pizza Delivery"

"Hello" he says "Now who ordered the Grand Pan Cheese, rhubarb, banana, chocolate and tuna special with cabbage raspberry ripple topping?"..

though handsome kiwi,whom im sure you all know is a flightless, nocturnal bird, with a large beak, and thus would seem an appropriate addition to the wearry group,

who, with her large,though useful, feet, runs madly around in circles,(an art she has perfected over the years) until a large trench forms around the group, allowing them to rest and gather their thoughts,which they do with haste, placing them into badgers little bag, for him to sort at his leisure, when suddenly, on the horizan sheepie spots...

can it be they wonder? Why yes.... they shout in unison........

Its ................

to be continued..............

...when badger - who had suddenly returned from a Rugby Union tour with Northampton Saints, and doing good deeds such as Punctuation In Need, Blind Dogs for the Guides, Acorn Collecting for Scouts...*Cut by editor*..said to someone or another whom is in this:

'This is just like Alice Through The Looking Glass'

'Well we've run, flown, driven, sailed and swam without moving anywhere, nor any further forward at all'.

'Isn't that a cheap plot device stolen from Lewis Carroll?'

'Maybe - but it's better than waking up and realising it's all a dream. Anyway HERE is a really cheap plot device -' and at that moment badger revealed to the ensembled crowd (whom were a disorganised string ensemble that had became a crowd...) a very large -

...........Just then the phone on the wall started to ring, everyone looked round wondering who would be calling a public phone???, asheepdog, irritated by the ringing said "well, is someone gonna get that?" but before she could finish, in runs Compoet!!, followed avidly by a tall guy in a black cape, brandishing a banana!!!, (a vampyr)!!!, Compoet barely has time to say "sorry, the nebukednezza needs me", then promptly picks up the phone, and disappears infront of everyones eyes, just in time before the vampyr shoots his banana and narrowly misses!!!, splattering the wall severly!................................ what will the vampyr do next? will Compoet return??, who's round is it??? and will badger ever get his beloved pork scratchins????? ...................................................

To Be Continued.....................

Jimbob wakes and wonders wot e's bin doin since 7th May. Has he bin in a coma , a comma. or sum other puntuation mark? He gets down his dictionary but its no help he's none the wiser, so he goes back to sleep agin.

"It may have been a firm fit body before stuffing that muffin - not so sure now!", remarked someone who shall remain nameless in order to preserve life and limb. And umm the soap on a rope was, in all reality (and that's a joke here eh ?), a ladder hanging down from the cockpit of the harrier, still upside down and having arrived above Capps' shower.

Without further ado, or even adon't, Capps grabbed her bathrobe in one hand, the ladder in the other and was hoisted aloft, whereupon they all turned for the rafia landing strip with its little blinking lights, while the Boing, patiently awaiting the arrival of the star-studded crew of the harrier (well, we hit a few comets on the way over ~ Tiger wasn't being too conscientious in reading the altimeter thingy), rumbled in appreciation at the jet's arrival.

By careful placement of Capps' bathrobe ~ she herself was covered in modesty and a choccy cosmos so she didn't need it ~ the harrier finally settled down safely on terra-not-so-firma. Jimbob, Hilli and the rest attacked the underside of the harrier with tinopeners, rescuing the flight crew .... hurray hurray !! Everyone hugged, as ya do when ya meet up, and repaired to a pub while others (stage extras) repaired the jet, rolled it over right way up ...... and repaired it all over again.

At this point, everyone started looking herioc/worried/wossname, depending on their characters ~ what would happen next ?

"We're a long way from Hemel Hempstead!" remarked someone from Herts, when .........

'Soap on a rope', Capps eyes wearily blinked as if waking frum a dream, she cude feel de warm suds caress her(oh err, gettin steamy-soz!) firm fit body(so she told me!) the heat roused her!(woolly wombat?)..........wots diss....was it all a dream..is she destined to wake up in de shower..is diss an originul storyline........id diss in norfolk ?...

.....Badger (the hero of the day - at off-peak periods only, subject to contract terms, minimum period applies) unfurled a raffia tablemat (fromsponsors Raffia 4 U) that was conveniently the same size as a small airstrip, and amazingly had little blinking lights on it too.....(I'd write more but this raffia tablemat-and-keyboard all-in-one is uncomfortable on me paws....)......

She realized that the gigantic muffin she was cooking for the harriert to land on was so good, that she started eating the eadges of it. Of course, because it is a choccy muffin, she couldn't resist.........alas she ate half of it!!! Now what would she do? No time to bake another muffin...........then just out of the corner of her eye, she spotted.........

an anti-cyclone, caused by the passage of a plane carrying Hilli and Mr H back to Nebraska, causes Jim's parachute to hitch a ride (there, that's the problem with including flight brand names like Boing in the storyboard hehe) on their tailfin. Hilli immediately radios a distress signal to Tobler, via the Boing's pilot, Sluffer (aka Agassi - he's taking time off from Virgin, having a busman's holiday .. well .. you didn't think he was a real pilot, did ya ?).

Anyway .. Tobler, brandishing his IV needle in an authoritative manner, says "You can't land in NYC with a Jim on your tailplane ... what do you think this is ... a roller coaster ??? jimbob's on the starboard bow .. (oh, um been there before I think and inaccurate anyway cos he's on the back fin) ..... divert immediately to California .. where flight controller Capps has almost got the muffin ready for the harrier".

So here we have it .... a Boing, driven by a busman and a Harrier with a Tiger at the helm .. all we need now is an engine driver ...... and here comes Heartstopper ... flying down the tracks .... "um where's the train ?" they all cry .... "following on" says Heart. At this point it's thought prudent to land the Boing on top of the train's flat deck, leaving the muffin ready for the Harrier .......

California here we come .. right back where we started from

hmmmm artistic licence here ....

Just then ..... our intrepid gang appear out of the skies in the Harrier ..... heading straight for the giant muffin .. when Capps lets out an unearthly scream .........

at which point he steps off into the great blue yonder ......oh sh-------------tcomes plaintively out of the ether folled by a loud BOING...........as he returns rapidly back to the plane (well he did use elastic ha ha ) he shouts out whats the name of that indian , upon which we all shout geronimo upon which he rebounds back again as you can understand as this is elastic this happens 1006 times before the elastic snaps at which he floats gently down using leafys bra as a parachute when ......

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