"I have learned....
-that a child who has pleural effusion and a chest tube won't cough and deep breathe because it hurts, however, he will pretend to be the big bad wolf and blow the pigs's house down if you tell him the story of the three pigs. Mission accomplished thanks to my dad who used to tell Kari the three pigs in varying voices. Without that memory, I might not have thought to do that with my little patient.
-when dealing with the child who is about to have a painful procedure done, it's best to just be honest and tell them that other children have said it hurts or feels like a little poke or some pressure. That particular child seemed to handle it a lot better when people weren't telling her not to worry about it and keeping her in the dark over what was to be done. Thanks to my mom who is very clever with children and who always said, "If they're old enough to ask, they're old enough to know."
-when giving an injection, "just push it in", as my first clinical instructor would say. Oh, how I pity the poor woman I ever gave my first injection to! Two years ago, I had to give an injection of Heparin in a woman's stomach. We use a TB needle (very, very tiny) for that and really, you don't even feel it. I know this because we had to give ourselves an injection in the stomach with the same sized needle during a lecture once. Anyway, I drew up 5,000 units and remember thinking, ok, I can do this, the needle is really little. But when I bent down in front of the patient, that needle suddenly turned into a garden hose and I froze. After two attempts and many apologies, my instructor pushed my hand in and the injection was given. Thank you, Sammy, for your patience and your encouragement. You got me through med/surg and turned out to be one of the best teachers I've ever had.
-saying goodbye to a difficult teacher and telling her to have a good retirement -- and meaning it -- was the right thing to do. There was so much I wanted to say to her and I'm glad I didn't.
-I can work my 12 hour shifts, go to school full-time and raise two children and it hasn't killed me yet.
-I have a loving husband who was willing to sacrifice many things for my chance to go back to school. Never once has he ever said he wished I hadn't done it. He has never held this financial burden over my head, but instead he has picked up the slack without complaint. (He used to ask me "What did you do today?" when I was a stay at home mom. Since then, he has found out what I did all day because now he has to do a lot of it.)
-many lab values and their meanings. Thanks to Glenie, who I currently have on Oncology. I am thankful that she is such a stickler for meds and labs. It makes me work hard and have a deeper understanding of what is happening in the body when someone's labs are off. I knew, for instance, that my patient's glucose was really high because I'd been giving her an IVpush steroid. I want to be the best RN I can be, I want to feel competent and I don't want this if just anyone can do it. I want to earn it.
-when your patient doesn't make it and you are doing post mordem on them, it's ok to cry. I have seen people moving bodies out without another thought, but that is someone's loved one and someday it will be me. Post mordem is the last thing I can do for my patient.
-the power of a lullaby. There are often children who are hospitalized and their family is not there. I am grateful that I have had children already and know that there are real words to Brahm's Lullaby. Sometimes that's all it takes to calm a little one down, just holding them for a few minutes and singing to them.
-that Jenny and Robyn are lifelong friends. We have stuck together from the beginning and there isn't anything I wouldn't do for them.
Perhaps that is enough for now, I'm sure I'll think of many other things that I'll wish I had included.
Here are a few U2 lyrics that spoke to me during these past four years as I trudged through school:
-From "Summer Rain":
When you stop seeing beauty
You start growing old
The lines on your face
are a map to your soul
When you stop taking chances
You'll stay where you sit
You won't live any longer
But it'll feel like it
and:
It's not why you're running
It's where you're going
It's not what you're dreaming
But what you're gonna do
It's not where you're born
It's where you belong
It's not how weak
But what will make you strong