im really upset, i found out today, its not an 8 week waiting list...... there are 5 ppl on the waiting list ahead of me, so its going to be quite awhile.. anyways, today i found out, if i hadnt applied for the program, because i failed already at one in canada, i could have gone to this place in the states, and i could have gotten in in like 10 days....... its like outpatient, but you live in sort of a group home setting, and its not for a set time, its for as long as you need it, etc..... they do therapy, lots, group and individual, and also do other things like expressive arts, yoga, meditation, relaxation etc...
anways, im just so upset, because when i got to thinking about it.. if i do the inpatient in ottawa, then if they do offer me the outpatient, i would most likely have to stay at the rotel, (which is like a hotel/hostel sort of thing) by myself.. that program is 12 weeks, so id be by myself at nights, and on fri, sat and sunday, all my myself for 12 weeks..i cant do that... too much alone time for me.... so i dont even want to go to ottawa now, i want to go to this other program..but i dont know if the govt will approve the funding, b/c ive already been assessed and accepted at ottawa, so im just so frustrated, and been crying and just so upset, figure i might as well go back to all my old behaviors, b/c ive screwed everything up... i cant do the outpatient in ottawa, id go nuts, if i just to the inpatient, then i relapse soon as i get home, because i cant do it... anyways, sorry, thanks for letting me vent.. still upset, i saw paula, my dietician, and b/c of my jaw, ive lost weight, and so not happy about that either, but atleast the osteopath has given me an appt for march 3 at 8:30am.. so hopefully that will help so i can eat again...... :'( just so upset in general that i cant take it..... grrrrrrrrrr sorry luv suelynn
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