aw risi im so sorry you have to go through all this, i wish there was something i could do to help you, if there ever is, please let me know.. and you can vent and tell us all about whats going on with you anytime thats what we are here for... i wish i could do something.. oh and i want you to know that i care whether you are alive.... you are such a caring person and now you have to let other ppl care about you, cause we do whether you like it or not!!!!! please keep fighting, you are so worth it. love you suzy |