Just need to vent today. You don't have to read or answer.  Aw, mainly just grumbling because healing the 4 breaks and a sprain on this leg/foot is taking AGES! I know 6 weeks is the optimal heal time for a healthy person and I'm not healthy PLUS over 50...I guess the minimal health support in this town is getting to me. AGAIN. Anyways it's what...9 weeks and counting? Frankly my doctor ignores me and when I do pluck up the courage to go see him he is SO rushed he takes over the conversation, whips through it at light speed and my concerns still don't get addressed. And when I try to run things he gets furious. "I'll be the one asking questions around here." Well that's FINE doofus but you never ASK any! He still has no clue I refused non-emergency surgery last year. HAH! Bet he doesn't even know I was up for it in the first place!!!! Nor that I had a lung infection (either bronchitis or pneumonia) this year, plus a vicious arthritis attack on my right shoulder for 2 months that prevented me moving that shoulder joint at all. There's no point in telling him because he won't do anything! ("there's nothing I can do"-his favorite line) Plus I never think my lungs are as bad as they are. Only in hindsight do I go "Oops, probably should have had meds for that."  I admit he could give me something for that...well probably. Anyways he happened to be at the hospital the day I went in to get my cast off. I get told, no surprise, that they had my appointment down for the next day. Since they also had the WRONG LEG down on the form I ignored all that.(hello, can't you SEE which leg the BRIGHT PINK CAST is on?!?!? nor listen to me when I TELL you?!?!  ) I know what day my appointment was set for, they told me 3 times on the phone and they've done this kind of appointment mixup before. Not very encouraging when they're that out to lunch.  So then he takes a mini power saw to get the cast off (NEVER AGAIN!)....I have biiiig issues with power saws. Hubby had to hold me down after I felt the saw biting into my leg...which it did 4 times! Anyways after all that doc merely airily says, "Sorry I had to put you through that. You'll be walking on it by next week." and walks out. The fact I was shaking with physical and emotional shock didn't even register with him. Hubby was quite concerned for me for about 15 minutes. He at least, takes me seriously. That whole experience was very triggering for me due to things I've seen in my abused past. Nobody ever puts a cast on me again unless they knock me out to remove it....or I'll knock THEM out! (an internet intern friend was shocked I got cut up, at least it wasn't serious injuries, but d*mn scary to feel that thing biting into me, the cuts took 2+ weeks to heal) So I got home, bathed the foot to clean it up and could clearly see the bruising front and back from the sprain. (I've told that doc FOUR DIFFERENT TIMES that hubby had stood on my foot halfway thru the healing process, but he's ignored that fact completely) I showed the bruising to hubby and he winced. Then I discovered bruising on my big toe and a side toe...I thought I'd broken something when I mashed my foot against my walker while the foot was casted. Seems I break small toe bones fairly easily. Have for 30 years. See why below! Found out why two weeks ago when I got inspired to get into an excellent book on CFS/FMS which states CFS patients are at HIGH RISK for osteoporosis as CFS causes bone demineralisation plus poor/slow bone formation. Crikey no WONDER I was having trouble and have had for decades! Hubby went right out and got me the recommended calcium/magnesium supplements and I've noticed a distinct upward trend in the bone healing and strength of the whole area since that day. Before that the breaks were not even close to fully healed, I could feel them, burning and sparking on me. Just FYI: My doctor said I had CFS about 4-5 years ago. Never mentioned ANY of this to me though! Frickin useless IDIOT. As 1/3 of our town doesn't even HAVE a doctor, no, there's nowhere else to go. I heal me, period. Have done for years. It just HELPS when I have full information! Once again, it's all up to me. I have to stay verrrry informed. It's tiring but I can do it. It just feels so unfair. I should have been on calcium for years, particularly given that the arthritis is in my hips and spine and neck! Grrrrrrrrrrr. The last thing I need on top of the arthritis, thyroid, CFS, asthma, complex PTSD, deteriorating spine and many other issues is osteoporosis! grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. Sometimes I'd like to kick somebody right in their heinie! At least give me tools to fight with you idiots. Anyways sorry I'm going on so much, nobody needs to reply...I just wanted to VENT about idiot doctors who don't know what they're doing and have the bedside manner of a BLEEP! This grouching is set off really because hubby is going away for 4 days to his niece's wedding, starting tomorrow, which makes me nervous. Not scared--if I was I'd say "you're not going" and he wouldn't either. I believe I can do this. I just wanted to have this leg stronger while he's gone. At least I can stand on it now, for abit. It's telling me off for the amount of standing/hobbling I did on it yesterday and I'm discouraged it's not healing faster. I was beginning to have hope which gives me courage, now that's kinda deflated on me. It's two steps forwards and one back but AT LEAST now it IS forwards...before I was barely creeping in healing, now at least there's some hope! But what a snail's pace! Sorry for being such a grouch....honestly when I once prayed to learn patience this was NOT the answer I was looking for! And sheesh anyways, isn't there a statute of limitations on prayers? I asked to learn more patience about 6 years ago already!!! I haven't been stupid enough to pray for it since then! ("be careful what you pray for, you might get it") TC |
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