Ok Tuesday we found out that it was cancer.  Thats all.  Also we were given an appointment  to see a cancer doc. and also to get a pet scan to see if it has spread.  Today our family doctor called us and told us that he didn't think we should wait until tuesday to see the cancer doc.  We need to see her tomorrow.  Thats so we can start his radiation treatments.  The reason why is that he is coughing up blood and the tumor is right next to the main artery.  So he could have it rupture at any time.    He talked to my husband first but didn't tell him this.  He wanted me to tell him.  So I thought when he talked tome that Jerry already knew but I was wrong and I just gave him the news srraight.  Now he is even more upset because he wasn't told directly.  Everything is my fault right now.  If I say something he yells at me.  Everything I do is wrong.  He also won't talk to me about any of this except yesterday he said he thought that radiation is a waste of time. Also I am fighting to get his disability because we have no income comming in except my disability and that sure isn't going to go far.  I just don't know what to do or say right now.  I am totally exhausted and am having trouble walking with my leg because I don't pay as much attenton as I should.  I wonder if this is all normal or not.  I was right that I was fortunate that I only lost a leg.  I used to say that at least it wasn't cancer or a stroke.  At least I could walk again soon.  He doesn't eat and his blood sugar is sky high right now from the stress.

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