How can I do this when I feel so bad

I do not know how to make it known

How do I tell you what I cannot speak

Show what cannot be shown.

My words don’t seem as if they are enough

To describe the pain I am in

It’s a pain that one cannot see

The pain is invisible, the pain inside me

I want to cry out, scream and shout

Do anything to get the feelings out

I feel so bad my heart is pained

I deal with this again and again

How do I let you know of my thoughts

So you won’t get all mad or get scared off

Do I tell you the truth and hopefully be ok

or hold it inside and feel bad for another day?

I long to speak words that cannot be spoken

So my self imposed code of silence may be broken

Do I dare and trust myself to speak

Do I dare and trust you to listen

I guess all I can do is to try

and risk being an outcast once more.

Hopefully you can understand

and help me through all of this pain.

Suzy-Lynn Veenboer

April 14^th, 2007