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New Poetry Pge 4 : We Tried (Edited)
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(2 recommendations so far) Message 1 of 6 in Discussion 
From: MSN NicknameToo_many_whys_  (Original Message)Sent: 11/3/2005 8:26 PM

This is

massaging morello-cherry jam, onto

hastily-baked scones.

The civility smells sweet, tangy and good.

Our exchanging smiles–the jam

easing onto uneven scones,

spreading the new found happiness,

 

smoothing over an unfortunate baking process;

where opinions were hit with wooden spoons

and words stirred up by interferers.

 

You were the flour: potentially

steady and the solid, our main ingredient.

So was I the milk?–Needing something else

to feed me strong and whole,

instead of palely sour?

 

Now we add massaged, moist, morello cherries

to the mix,

to sweeten, re-kindle...

 

Of course, there's always more flour, if

this scone doesn't taste how I desire

at least, we tried.

 

©K.E.M 2005



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Reply
 Message 2 of 6 in Discussion 
From: MSN NicknameForestFlower5893Sent: 11/3/2005 9:01 PM
Ummmm - I like this Katy - subtle and sensuous with lots of uneasy undertones - Good work.
 
Emma
 

Reply
 Message 3 of 6 in Discussion 
From: MSN Nicknamemikhail34Sent: 11/3/2005 11:18 PM
liked this very much
 
left me with more questions than answers
 
well done,
 
m

Reply
 Message 4 of 6 in Discussion 
From: MSN NicknameZydhaSent: 11/4/2005 5:14 PM
Hy Katy, I take this as a metaphore for the socialising and blending of assorted characters?
 
What a great way to sum up when one has done ones best to be an essential ingrediant and yet the baking process falls short, as you say so well...at least you tried and, there's always another recipe ...I like...
 

Of course, there's always more flour, if

this scone doesn't taste how I desire

at least, we tried.

 

Zy

 


Reply
 Message 5 of 6 in Discussion 
From: MSN NicknameToo_many_whys_Sent: 11/4/2005 6:19 PM
Hi, think I will do one big reply.
 
Emma: thank you, I'm really pleased you thought it was subtle too, as that was just the effect I tried to create by editing it.
 
Mikhail: well I'm always left with more questions than answers about this particular relationship/ non-existant relationship so I suppose it's good that got through. Plus, I'm trying not to force-feed meaning to my readers, just... nudge.
 
Zy: I think I was sort of reflecting Carol-Ann-Duffy type continuous metaphors, but hopefully with my voice. I wrote it with one person in mind, but I'm glad you like the ideas.
 
Thanks for reading,
 
Katy

Reply
 Message 6 of 6 in Discussion 
From: MSN NicknameZydhaSent: 11/4/2005 6:58 PM
Yes, Katy, it worked well as your voice, I am a great fan of Carol Ann Duffy's words, she is the mistress of metaphore.
 
I thought this might be singular, but kept it in a generalised sense, just in case, nice work, Zy 

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