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no dont worry he has no way of knowing where im going and i think thats what scares him knowing hes lost me totaly now and ill be living in a differant country...lol...wow that sounds good!!!hehe |
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well this is it...it has finaly arrived...will be packing comp up tomor ready for the move...im felling very mixed right now..but im happy to say its mostly exitment..i dont regret any of this atall..just want it all over to settle in my new home...part of me is still waiting for it to go wrong but i guess that feeling is going to take a long time to leave me...but theres no way im going to let this new life go wrong for me..and im sure all my family in here wont let anything go wrong either!..will check back in as soon as i get re- connected xx |
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| your going to be fine hun.. love leanne |
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well ive done it i just cant belive i did this and did it all on my own...i am still in shock..lol..its great here and just what i wanted...boys are settling in but will be better for them when the go to school and make there new friends..has been a bit of contact from HIM! firstly a txt nessage saying hed got his divorce paoers and wasnt going to sign them cus it was all lies...ooo and he wanted to see ciaran next time he visited his mothers...i just didnt respond to the txt but was happy knowing hed got the divorce papers...then bout a week after i moved here i had a txt from him all nicey nicey saying hed started work and wanted to send ciaran money but would need out address to send it..ooo and how he hopped we were all ok and he missed us all with kisses at the end of the txt..i did txt back and said if you wana send ciaran money go through my solicator or csa...he then strted on how he wasnt going to do that and if i wanted anything i had to give him my address...he then said he knew id not moved anyway cus our old ladlord told him i was still there...lol...you gota laugh at the nutter,,i just told him to go to our old house then if he thought i was still there...such a sad little man he is...i can imaging him killing himself inside thinking ive done this and done all this without him..it was our dream but he blew it ..just made it easier for me to do xxx |
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well done my love this is wonderful and i can feel how happy and excited and in control you really are, im so proud of you girl well done. it is true you can do things on your own but at the time you just dont see it, but guess what you did it, your the one that is living your happy life with out him in it. you are at your strongest and you will keep on geting strong, he will leave you alone as he will relise how strong you really are. this is a new life for you and your family, you have chosen a path that is right for you and you are going to have a really happy life there. there will be days where you feel like you cant cope but there the days that will make you strong, trust me i no.. take care my love and WELL DONE love leanne |
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yep i did it still have to kep telling myself that and it makes me smile so much xx |
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Dear diary.. things been pretty steady this month..nice and settled in my new home ..looking forward to the boys starting school now as it means hopefully i will meet lots more new people myself..few little hiccups that have got me down but ive not le them win as i know i can deal with anything..sorted the idiot landlordand got my deposit back...he knew i wasnt going to give up without a fightso after a week of battling he backed down ..his reasons being he didnt have the time for me to take him to court over £750..lol.... have had paul contacting me again..why hes started again i dont know..but i can only guess things in his life have gone poo again and the new ladys had enough alrady..so hes thinking hell try me again with email and txts messages saying how much he lovesand misses me and begging me to take him back..cheack arse even asked a freind of mine.(.well she knew him too) on messenger to contact me and how much he loved and missed me..corse she told him she didnt want to get involved and left i at that..but what a sad desperate person he is...must be killing him inside that im not even bothering to speak to him...ooo welll im not bothered atall . |
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yes im sure the ladlord felt the fire burning behind me and knew he didnt stand a chance!! as for paul ..yea i can easily get rid of the old fone but right now i do need it for the solicator as proff he has had the divorce letters as there not being served on him..so untll i know that part of my lif is finaly over and we are divorced i cant get rid...it was nice knowing that he was having such a shit life and still wanted me...cus makes it much easier for me to not want him in my life atall..lol... |
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well hes still at it...thats 3 people now i know hes spoken to asking them to pass on messages to me saying how much he loves me and misses me so much..hes so unhappy without me and broken hearted...bla,bla,bla...his reasons for us breaking up to these friends are ..that he lost his job and i didnt feel secure anymore with him!!! what a twat..no mention of the women he ran off with and the lies upon lies i had told me...then making out hes desperate to see his son but its me who wont let him!!!...too damm right im not letting him see him...if he wamted to that much hed go through the courts..but noooo thats to much like hard work for him.... im so frustrated by him again cus i find it hard to ignore peole and say nothing..id love to talk to him and make him see what he did...but it will never happen...he cant see any wrong in what he did ..arghhhhhh i could just scream..i dont want him dragging me down again with his crap..i just dont wana know .. |
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well what an intersting day i had today...had a txt on my fone..the old one..was from a number i didnt know..it said ..i hope your happy now you have paul it will never work between you both...i just txt back saying who i this..anyway it seams it was the women paul was ment to be with in scotland...after many txts it seams he has done exactly the same to me as he did to her...well not all of it..she thought hed come back to me cus apprently i kept begging him too..i put here very strait right away on what hes out me through and asured here id never have him anywhere near me or my boys..apparently a letter went ther for him today frm tax credits and it had mine and the boys names on it too...i just said to her it was prob that theyed finaly caught up with him as he owed the money from when were together..anyway sver txt went by and it seams he went off with another woman then wanted to get back with this scottish women..of corse she had him back beliving he loved her oooo and yes after saying hed kill himself cus he cant live without her..bla bla bla..well she had him back only for him to leave her the next day..shes realy in pieces by this..and after speaking with me she felt worse that she belived everything everything he told her about me...well i told her none of it was not her fault..she got sucked in just like i did and and she needs to just leave him in the past and not look back...least she didnt actualy marry him...she said she like to talk again if i didnt mind..i said that would be fine as id like a few questons answered too...she said she will answer whatever she can..gota feel sorry for her realy..just when is this man guna stop hurting people like this...hes like a wirlwind..on a huge path of destrution sucking everything in as he passes them..then spis them out the other side.. |
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dear lor chriss , arn,t you lucky to have got away , that poor woman, but , my nan had a saying " the wheels of god may grind slowly, but god does a better job in the end"you were so kind to her chriss soooo proud of you, ...... him , well !! hanging sounds interesting love sis rusty |
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i have no reason to be angry with her rusty..i dont blame her atall....it is worrying how i can now see him as 2people in one... |
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well what a busy few mts ive had..well 1st was the move..so happy with the house and the space here altho again i dont know how i managedit but i did..lol..and my bestnews is that my divorce has finaly come through..ok wheni read it i did break down and just sob.....if only things could have been differant!!...if only!!...but they wernt..there was no way we could have ever got back together..even tho he begged and pleaded with me to try..i knew i could never feel the same towards him..so i had to take that route ..i was realy confussed for a few das..kind of not knowing who i was....so i went into the solic office bot changing my name..an i was so easy to do...and i came out a differant person..litraly...ive gone back to my maiden name and have also changed ciaran'stoo...ok this is going to stir things up with paul but there is a way we may not have to inform him about it..but asfar as nams go i can call him whatever i choose...i just cant change passport or birth certificate just yet..may need his permision but as he hasnt bothered supporting ciaran or seeing him...i may not...so that made me feel so much beter..a total new beging for me...so thats me up to date..paul has gone quiet on me again after having another warning from solic for harrasment...so hopefully hehas realised now he has to leave me alone xx |
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