I checked my watch, 4:00. I had packed everything earlier that day, and I had no intention of looking back. So there I was, outside on a bench, thinking over my decision. Was this right? I mean, after all, I was only twenty-years of age, not old enough to make any sort of big decisions involving my life. What am I saying? I'm twenty-years-old, legally an adult, definitely old enough to be making big decisions. Then why did I feel like such a kid? It was dark and foggy outside, and it felt like such a bad night to be doing this, but I had too. I had my mind set, but somewhere in the back of my mind, I knew what I was doing was wrong. Wrong for where I wanted to go in my life. I always ended up doing this, and my age was always my reason. Not being able to stand the cold anymore, I walked in.

"What'll it be?"

The man asked me. I was a bit hesitant at what I was going to say next. What will it be? A place to call my home again? Somewhere to stay? A drink? A win? No, I guess not. Something a lot simpler was on my mind at the time.

"One ticket to Missouri, please"

I wasn't really sure why I said Missouri, but that's what came out of my mouth first. All that I knew that I was running away again, and for what? I wasn't exactly sure. But running was pretty much my specialty. When times got tough, I ran, and for some reason I was doing it again. Running from problems that I felt I couldn't handle

"Your train leaves in a few minutes, have a nice trip"

Have a nice trip. The words rang in my ears, and I wanted them to be true. But what was so nice about Missouri? What was so nice about running away from an opportunity such as this one? The thought of punching him came to mind. Of course, this man knew nothing of my struggles within. So, I couldn't really blame him for his comment. I admit, I am being a bit irrational, but I suppose that's just what happens when I get like this.

"Do you have family in Missouri you are going to see?"

"No"

"Are you searching for a job?"

"No, I have a job"

I had a job. Well, technically I still have a job, which is why I don't exactly understand why I am doing this. Maybe I just have a problem with commitment. I guess that's why I could never keep a girl friend for very long, but girls weren't the problem. It's me. I could possibly be afraid of commitment, considering everything that seemed forever, never really was. My family was the major one.

"So, then why are you heading out to Missouri?"

"I'm not really sure"

The truth came out as if he had used a lie detector test on me. This complete stranger had made me give the one answer that I probably wouldn't give anybody. I'm an okay liar, I could've lied, but I didn't. This old man, selling train tickets, wanted the truth, and I had given it to him. I usually know exactly why I am doing something, but not this time. For some reason, this was different. I had a slight idea why, but I needed more proof.

"I get that a lot"

"I guess you know a lot about people, don't you?"

I knew exactly what I was asking, and it seemed he knew exactly what I was going to ask. I would have guessed someone to be confused by such a question as this, but he wasn't. This old man at the train station was turning out to be an interesting individual.

"Yes, I suppose I do. I get a lot of people telling me their darkest secrets. Most of them running away. I always seem to spill their guts right before they leave, as if they are looking for some guidance"

"And do you give them some guidance?"

"Of course I do. I'm older than dirt, so I've been around the block a couple times. I've been exactly where you're standing"

The thought rushed through my mind of this obviously intelligent man, running from fears that he himself thought were pretty stupid.