Well we go to court tomorrow. I have decided and WILL do the right thing for myself and husband. I will tell the judge I am sorry for wasting his time and I want to ALL ties to our son. I was going to try to reconsile but we have tried over and over and over...... with the only result of my having a nurvous breakdown. I suffer from Post Traumatic Distress, abused from the time I was born and have cut ties from my mother who I have not heard from in over 15yrs. I know I said in my last letter that I can't handle anymore of this. I want to live a normal life, or at least figure our what a normal life is. I have been married 3 times (my 3rd husband is wonderful). The other 2 was very abusive in all since of the word. I have a son by my 2nd husband who is close to me dispite his birth father was a psycho. I finally cut ties with that husband. He had so much emotional hold on me. I may be repeating myself but I really do need input to make myself know I will be ok and doing the right thing. I feel I need to do this and I know it will be hard but he has used me and hurt me so long and so bad. I am getting counceling and in this last yr of having a restaining order on my son I have finally come to terms with his abuse and gotten relaxed. Now I am having to deal with this. I have been having panic attacks this past month and more as the court date comes up. I will let you know how it goes.