Hi, serenityprayer--It is very, very difficult to stand by and watch a loved one be treated this way.  Unfortunately, therapists will often attribute what they consider to be a child's 'acting out' to the parent.

 

If you have not yet read this page, I would encourage you to do so:

 

 

Are these therapists of your own choosing?  Perhaps it's time to change therapists if not.  I would encourage you to support your partner as much as possible, and definitely make sure she understands that safety IS a major concern here.  Is she discounting that her daughter would hurt her when it came down to it at all?  I surely hope not.  Also try not to get overly-involved in interceding with her daughter.  You're better off supporting, but not getting involved in the dispute between them.  She will target whomever she chooses in her wrath, including you.  Don't make yourself a target.  It sounds as if her mother has a plan if she escalates, and that's good. 

 

This is a very difficult situation.  My thoughts are with you.

 

Lynn