Hi there "Mom"

 

You have to get tough

 

"Tough Love" is just that  - I was in  a Tough Love Programme

 

It's a 12 Step Programme and its message to the kid is "We love you but we hate what you are doing so stop doing it or take the consequences"

 

And when they are old enough ' We love you but we hate what you are doing so if you want to do it go and do it somewhere else

 

In your case - you took the cell phone - and had it disconnected - good for you

 

And you do have to pick your battles - so what is important?

 

I had few rules - something like

 

Where what you like to bed but take you shoes off please

 

If you don't shower you will start to stink and no one will want to sit near you - so you shower or get lonely

 

He was about 11 when I said "If you don't change your T-shirt grass will grow under your arms - it worked well - it wasn't long before he came to me crying because he noticed he had under-arm hair.

 

And picking your battles doesn't mean you are being easy on him - you are being easy on yourself and saving yourself for the big battles

 

Keep in touch - all of us here have had to be into Tough Love whether we ever got into a programme or not

 

Sparky