Gabe thanks for your support and advice, I do the best I can, however my wife, her mother is in severe denial.  It is taking a severe toll on our marriage, my wife seems to think some of her words are just that, talkin big, doesn't mean it.  She is much sneakier now that I have confronted her with her actions, what bothers me most is my wife thinks it's ok to let her babysit our 2 little boys.  I'm numb most of the time and exhausted mentally the other.  Thanks again