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Hi Omaha, I hope you are having a good day. Maybe if you stand firm and take a hard consistent line with this child she will realize that she gets nowhere with you and will play all of her tricks on your enabling wife which sad to say may be the only way your wife will come to believe there is a problem. As you know, N's love to play their games and it is so much more fun for them to have a willing victim. Coming to terms with the fact that you have a monster for a daughter is a huge adjustment and something that each of us has to come to terms with in our own time. Your daughter will take care of this.
On the other hand, accepting the fact is a relief from the self blame and guilt that we feel as parents of these children and enables us to act appropriately toward them. I look at my son as having a huge mental handicap which makes me able to love him but I never give an inch and although he still tries to manipulate my husband and I we are ready for him. You sound as though a counsellor would help you to deal with this situation, it is too big to bear alone. At least until your wife faces the reallity of the daughter. Good luck Omaha, stay strong, Gabe |
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