Twink, I think you are right and your advice sound.  We cut off the money flow about four years ago when I became ill and could no longer work.  I was a systems analyst and making good money so believe me when I say the loss of that income put a serious dent in the budget. 

 

My son is a master of manipulation and can be very charming when he wants to be.  He is also a master of emotional abuse.  He is trying to use his children as pawns but what he doesn't understand is that we have a truly loving relationship with their mother, his ex-wife and so will be able to have the contact we desire with her and those three dear grandchildren. 

 

I think I mentioned he has a new wife.  They are expecting a baby (on my husbands birthday no less).  The new wife seems to be nice but she comes from a very abusive background.  I know that there was physical abuse; I don't know about mental abuse. The thing that makes me so sad is that I doubt that I will be able to have a relationship with that grandchild.

 

My husband and I came to the decision last week to terminate all personal contact with our son.  It is a very hard thing to do but knowing how he operates and with the new knowledge of what he is, we are putting a stop to the manipulation and emotional abuse. I am fortunate to have a large and loving family who understands and backs me in this decision.

 

As far as his potential for violence, I believe that it is there under the surface and that at this pivotal point I need to be careful.  I think it helps that we don't live in the same town. 

 

Thanks to all for the input and support...RoseMaybud