Oh Cenders Believe me - you are not at fault.

My P was an adopted child I don't know how it will end for you but -

 Have you found a tough-love programme?

 I did - and found it helpful - but - Before my then-husband and I joined we were warned that some of these kids die -

and our P did Age 16

The theme of tough love is "We love you but we hate what you are doing so if you insist on doing it go and do it somewhere else."

He did and was ordered into Juvenile Detention and died there - an ultimate act of manipulation

It sounds to me that you are afraid for your P and everyone else and it wouldn't surprise me if love had fled and I wouldn't blame you for that either.

There's not much I can add here but if you want to email me at [email protected] and I may have some suggestions

Certainly some support

It has struck me that some times and adoptive family takes on another family's disaster - although it can be that an extremely powerful person can have violent reactions to the Primal Wound of their adoption

Still not an excuse but a valid reason

Lin