Coping with the Psychopath/Narcissist Child

I have a 16 year old daughter who is very similar, in fact if youread on the site the Smear Campain that is right where we are now because we tried to protect ourselves. She saw the power she had to hurt me by a rumor 2 years ago,so began the "I am abused by my parents". I was devestated by the alligations because I felt as if my daughter was my abusive spouse ("dont look at me when we are eating, dont wear padded bras, too much make up, dress nicer"). I began counseling 1.5 years ago...after a year my counselor said my daughter is a narcissist...so began my search on information and came here. Dr v. said that it's hard to determine normal adolescent actions from narcissist. My counselor had no other advice either except to "Retreat and protect yourself" and in counseling we praticed how to do that when you still love and need to parent a 16 year old. Well...she had no power over me any more...I would walk away from fights, which lead to extreme violence on her part to pull me in. Warned by counselor, but still fell inti it, she tried to jump out of my car and i grabbed her until I could pull over, meanwhile she had a scratch from me. She punched and screamed and when we got home ran away. We took her to police station and she began the "im abused he's the proof". since May 07 she has been inpatient for 2weeks 2times and is now in a 55,000 residential treatment facility for 6 months. I dont know if they will break through the delussions and iron walls that this child has. RAD has been put out there but counselors will not give her that.