I'm driving in the Shenendoah Valley headed to the site of the All Hallows Eve Ball.  At close to 6 PM  I come to Ghost Mountain.  The mountain has a sharp peak and in the fading light the pines look almost black and with the forrest on the valley floor that surrounds the mountain, it gives you the impression of a huge witch's hat.  I find the dirt road that leaves the main highway going to Witch Cavern.  I find a place to pull over by the path that leads to the cavern and start the walk to the cavern.  200 yards from the road I meet with Mistress Sadie Goode who is waiting by the entrance.  Sadie is a handsome woman though she is badly burned from the waist down which is understandable since she was burned as a witch during the Salem Witch Trials.  We greeted each other cordially and hugged before we entered the cavern.  Torches were lit about every  50 feet and with the stalagtites and staglagmites looking like huge teeth., it gave you the impression that you were about to be eaten by the mountain.  We walked together down the path until we came to a huge cavern with wide thin staglatites that almost reached to the floor surrounding the cavern.  The stalagtites were a beautiful white of the purest lime stone and they had ripples giving you the impression of great white curtains. Standing in this cavern were the rest of our hosts for the evening.  Count Vladimir  was a Romanian Count who was the great great nephew of Vlad Dracule, The Impaler,  who was the subject of many of the vampire legends.  Unfortunately, after many of the country people started disappearing Count Vladimir was deemed a vampire and the people took him by force and drove a stake through his heart.  The count has been walking the earthly plane for some 400 years trying to regain his honor from being falsely accused.  Net to the count is beautiful creole woman named Emma Succubus.  She was a madame of  a brothel in the French Quarter of New Orleans during the early 1790's.  After several respected patrons disappeared and it was rumored that Emma was a Voodoo priestess, a court found her guilty of murder and she was hung by the neck in 1794.  Ima Ghost  comes to give me a hug.  Ima is an old and dear friend of mine.  Ima was a part of the the Daniel Boone party that was to settle what is now Kentucky.  Ima was on the side of this mountain looking for firewood when she suddenly disappeared.  She was never found until 1904 when two boys found the entrance to this cavern behind some brush and decided to explore.  The boys saw a lady roaming through the passages and ran after her to help her thinking she may have been lost.  The pale woman led them to a pile of bones and disappeared.  After the sheriff investigated, it was found the bones were of a woman that had apparently fell through a crevice in the mountain that was covered by ferns.  The only clue to the indentity of the woman was a copper bracelet with the name "IMA" on it.  The local people started call the woman that roamed the passages Ima the Ghost and few people are brave enough to roam the mountain or the cavern for fear that they will suffer the same fate as Ima.  We all chatted awhile about other friends we knew and the good ole days.  Ima grabbed me by the hand and led me around one of the stalagtite curtains and showed me a lake that was so clear that it mirrored the roof of the cavern making the lake look as if stlagmites were comming up out of the water.  The three acre lake was so clear it magnified the bottom, so, what looked to be three feet was actually about 7 feet.  Ima gave me a peck on the cheek and we joined the other hosts.  Ima always did like showing me the wonders of this great cavern.

Here comes The J. Ghouls Band to setup.  Wow, our host went all out with Jimi Hendrix (lead guitar), Jim Morrison (keyboards/vocal), Jack Bruce (bass), Jimmy Rodgers (drums), Janis Joplin (vocals), and Buddy Holley (rhythm guitar/ vocals).  We setup the refreshment tables of meat courses like country ham, fried fish, pork barbeque, and shrimp jambalaya; deserts of mountain blueberry, raspberry, apple and pecan pies; and drinks like Rhine wines, Tennessee burbon, vodka, diet pepsi, gingerale, sundrop, qand champagne punch.  As I went up the passage to the entrance to greet the guest, the hmmmmm of the bands amps made me look back.  Looking down the passage at all those huge teeth of the cavern, the sound reminded me of the sound a person makes just before he takes a bite of a tasty morsel.  I shook off the feeling and went up the passage to the entrance to greet the guest.

The first guest arrived in about 5 minutes and I was confused as to whether it was man or beast.  As he came out the mist, I saw a man dressed in buckskins wearing a fox hat pulled so low over his face he was looking out of the holes that use to be the foxe's eyes. We greeted each other and he asked if they were serving pie. After confirming the presence of pie, I showed him the path into the cavern.  Here comes a woman dressed in a beautiful ball gown of blue french silk and a beautiful set of pearls around her neck.  She wore a harlequin mask of porcelin and only hint of who she was is the short blonde hair sticking out around the mask.  I complimented her beautiful dress and she remaked, " If some one doesn't behave, I might have to change into my fox hunting attire!".  I sent her down the path just as the next guest arrived.  A man dressed as a backwoodsman came out the mist complete with a jug of moonshine wearing a belt that must have had atleast ten knives on it.  There was a Sharpfinger, an Uncle Henry Spike, and a few others with stag and bone handles.  I cordially greeted him as anyone would a person with that much weaponry and showed him the path.  Here comes a man dressed as fisherman with a wool flannel shirt, and carrying a rod and reel.  He was a rather large and powerful built man with a beard though his mask in the shape of a pickeral obscured the rest of his face.  He gave me a hardy handshake and went down the path.  something is running at me , it's a werewolf.  He halts in front of me and says " Me wolf, me come party", and I show him the path.  Here comes something out of the ordinary a tall woman dress as a cat except the cat is white with a black spot on it's back.  As she slinks like a cat toward me , I remark,"  You are an unusual cat for Halloween Night".  She replys, ' You bet your Bootz!  Any one can dress like a black cat, But only I can dress like my cat.".  After clucking me under the chin with her paw and purring, she slinks down the path.  Out of the mist comes a Yaaaaaaaahooooooo and a man dressed as Robin Hood carring his bow and a quiver of arrows.  We greet each other like old friends and tells me about the fish he caught in the lake at Sherwood Forest.  I watch him head down the path at a quick lope.  The next guest is wearing a gold ground length cloak with hood and wears a mask of bright yellow feathers with a a beak.  Must be a woman because she gives me a hug and tells me to stay out of troubles before going into the cavern.  Here comes a man dressed in a Hudson Bay wool coat and carrying traps over one shoulder and a beaver over the other.  He says to me , " the party , eh" and as he walks down the path, I eye a fork protruding from his back pocket leaving me wondering if the beaver was a rouse.  As I was waiting for the next guest, two bright lights and a roaring sound pierced the mist anf getting closer by the second.  It got so close that I backed up and tripped falling on my butt.  When I sat up, I heard a skidding cruching sound and I was staring at this skull with blinding light coming from it's eye sockets.  As my eyes adjusted to the light , I noticed a tire that had stopped just a mere inch from totally changing my sexual outlook on life.  I stood up and dusted myself off and stared in wonder nat a beautifully custom cycle.  From the skull which was the headlight neckbones came down to shoulders forming the yoke in which two boneyn arms streched out to hold the front wheel. I walked around the cycle and the spinal column ran across the top of the frame to the pelvis which held the seat and skeletal legs held the rear wheel.  The rib cage housed a 1000 V Twin engine and the gas tank was black with a picture of a graveyard under a full moon.  The seat was in the shape of an old fashion coffin wioth a sissy bar on back with a black bat perched on top.  The whole frame was chromed.  As if to to get my attention the rider hit the horn which made the skull's mouth open and let out an eerie howl of laughter.  I had noticed the woman rider, you couldn't miss her if you wanted to.  She had long black hair parted in the middle ( a wig of course), a slinky revealing black dress and blood red lips.  She almost looked like Vampira coming to life out of a comic book.  I welcomed her and she gave my beard a little tug.  I told her her cycle was so unique she could take it into the cavern if she kept it in first gear to prevent any kinda of rock slides.  As she disappeared into the cavern I noticed the New Mexico plates on the back her bike.  Another guest pops out the mist carrying a single man kayak. It is a woman dressed in a blue and yellow wet suit with matching helmet and a blue mask.  She greeted me and I showed her the path to the cavern noticing the word, "MAGGIE" on the side of her kayak.  Hercomes another guest a rugged looking man wearing an outback hat and a duster wearing a neclace of boar tusks.  I welcome him and show him the path and he tosses me a kiwi fruit as he disappears into the depths of the cavern.  well it is about 3 minutes to the witching hour I better head down to the cavern before the portal closes.

I come to the cavern the party is in full swing and it is a site to behold.  The woman in the blue gown is dancing with Count Vladimir, Vampira is dancing with Robin Hood,  The cat woman is dancing with the man in the duster,  The woman in the wet suit is dancing with the trapper, and the guy in the pickeral mask is sitting in a chair holding rod in one hand while munching a smoked salmon and onion sandwhich in the other.  Emma has the guy with fox had and she gives him a slice of pie and everytime he gets ready to take a big bite the pie vanishes.  Emma loves her practical jokes.  After about ten pies vanishes and tears are rolling out of the fox mask, the lady in the blue gown gets the the poor guy a real piece of pie from the table.  The guy in the fox mask jumps for joy as he finally sinks his teeth into pie.  The cat woman finishes the dance and decides a refreshment is in order, so, as she crosses the floor she brushes against the the guy with the pickeral mask's rod and get hooked on the lure.  She gets almost to the table when the guys starts reeling her back.  Cat woman keeps trying to get to the table and gets reeled back time after time.  I walk up to the guy with the pickeral mask and ask if he is having fun.  He replies, " I didn't know catfishing could be so much fun." and laughing so hard tears are running down his cheeks.  In the dim light the fishing line is invisible, so, the rest of the guests think the cat woman is just showing off her moon walking abilities.  The Backwoodsman goes to the cat woman and cuts the fishing line with his Sharpfinger and the cat woman finally makes it to the refreshment table.  All of a sudden there is a scream and Vampira is pointing at a beaver on the pie table.  The beaver grab a pie and disappeared under the table.  When the beaver reappeared on the table to take another pie , two arrows fron Robin Hood's bow pinned the beaver to the table.  The Lady in the blue gown remarked, " I will take care of this."  and she grabs her bodice and rips the dress away from her.  As the dress hits the floor she is standing in a black leather suit with a coiled bull whip at her side.  She notices the trapper crawling from under the table with a pie heading toward the path.  The lady uncoils her whip and with two quick flicks of the wrist, the trapper"s jacket is gone.  Two more flicks of the wrist and the trapper's pants are gone leaving him in his flannel shirt and his skivvies. As the trapper gets up and is ready to run, the laddy lobs the whip and it wraps several times around the trapper's waist.  The lady pulls in the whip until the trapper is face to face with her. The lady says, " It is time to dance!" and then they both dance off across the floor.  After the dance , the trapper uncils himself from the whips and runs over to pick up his clothes.  As he bends over to pick the clothes up, the lady with two quick flicks of her wrist slashes a T on the back of his skivvies.  The lady takes note of the man in the fox hat and he dives under a table.  As the band does their rendition of " Sexy Thing", the lady in the yellow feathered mask is dancing with the werewolf, Sadie is dancing with Robin Hood,  The count is dancing with the kayak lady and cat woman is dancing with the backwoodsman.  The trapper finally collecting his clothes is running up the path and turning the corner and the man in the fox hat has crawled out from the table and starts dancing with the lady in the black leather suit who sighs, "oh Brother".  Vampira is dancing with the guy in the pickeral mask and the rugged looking man dances with Emma.   All of a sudden there is a great bbbbbrrrrrrrraaaaappppp echoing in the cavern and here comes Hoof Hearted with the trapper hanging on for dear life to it's neck.  Hoof Hearted comes to a halt at edge of dance area and the trapper goes sailing on to the dance floor where Ima helps him up and dances with him.  You should never leave a haunted cavern before the party is over.

As the next dance begins, Sadie was so impressed with dancing with Robin Hood thatn she casts a spell on his bow and arrows so they will never miss.  Ima takes the lady in the leather suit behind a stalatite curtain and the lady re-emerges in her lovely blue ball gown.  The lady is approached by the man in the pickeral mask and the start dancing across the floor.  Cat woman is being glided across the floor by the rugged looking man while Vampira is seductively lying across her motorcycle seat Trying to decide between the backwoodsman and the trapper who bring her tempting treats from the refreshment table hoping to win her favor.  The woman in the yellow feathered mask is dancing with the man in the fox hat.  Robin Hood is tripping the light fantastics with Ima.  Hmmm, someone is missing.  Where is the kayak woman?  As i look for her, I hear a splashing in the lake.  I find her paddling quite erratic.  She makes sharpn turns and paddles backwards then stops turning sharply again.  Realization comes to me,  she is seeing the reflections of the stalatites on the ceiling.  Finally seeing me, she paddles her kayak next to me.  I tell her this is a magic lake and no harm comes to anyone on this lake.  I advise her to paddle through a large reflection of a stalagtite.  She takes my advice and runs through every reflection on the lake.  She was having fun like a driver in a demolition derby that never gets hit.  I left her to enjoy herself.