I was walking down a road last night. Owls were hooting, the trees looked like errie creatures with gnarly hands trying to grab you, and their was a mysterious mist that hung real low to the ground. As I passed by an old oak, a goblin jumped out. It tried to swat at me a few times and when it figured out I was a ghost screamed like a banshee then disappeared. Walking down the road further I met a skeleton wearing a Goofy t-shirt. It smiled at me with purplish blue teeth that reminded me of a bear that had been in a blueberry patch. It held out a bag and in a zombie like tone said "candy". Being I never carry that sort of thing, I did throw some fox grapes in his bag that were growing by the road. The skeleton left running down the road and iasd I watched, I could swear it's socks were on fire. down the road farther there was a bright light and as I approached a sparkling blue gown appeared in the light and then a most amazing face smiled at me, She said,"I am Katrina the good witch of the North". She winked and floated away with the light. I'm going to sit a spell and finish my walk a bit later. Will finish my experiences in the next post.

I walked the road abot a mile when I came upon a very intresting sight. A trunk of an old oak was blown down across the road and laying on top of the log was a woman stretched out provacatively. She was dress like a saloon girl complete with a boa in her hair. As i approached, I was mesmerized by her long slender legs reflecting in the moon light. I spoke to her not sure of what to say, " You sure look pretty comortable laying there". She replied, " It sure helps when you can find a big log, honey". As I moved a little closer to the log, a loud whinny sounded farther up the road. The woman jump off the log, her long legs moving at a ground eating pace and she disappeared around the bend. I sat on the log enjoying the warmth left by the vision that was laying on it. Almost immediately, a magnificent horse with a rider dressed in forest green pulled to a fast halt on the other side of the log. The rider reminded me of Errol Flynn in his famous role as Robin Hood. He had a golden bow across his chest with a quiver of silver arrows on his back. He stared at the road as if looking for tracks which prompted me to ask him what he was hunting. Still reading the sign in the road, he replied with only one word, "Hooters". Then as if he found wat he was looking for, he hollered, "Ho! Hoof Hearted" and in a single bound leaped over the log and me. He went down the road and around the bend at a fast gallop. I wasn't sure if his last words were addresses to the horse or if he was asking me a question, but, If it was a question, I was sure going to blame that woman that hightailed it out of here. I crossed the log and continued on my journey. I had not gone a tenth of a mile when there came a roaring sound and a light that got bigger and bigger as it came toward me. All of a sudden I was blown up in the air by what seem to be a mummy on a motorcycle or atleast that is what I thought it was. He went by so fast I didn't have time to warn it of the log across the road. as I looked toward the log, I heard a loud crash. All I could see was bandages, spam cans and beer bottles swirling around in the air as if it was caught up in a whirlwind. As everything settled to the ground, it reformed in the shape of the mummy. The mummy felt his head and bellowed, "Whewww! Still got my top knotch". It pulled the motorcycle over the log. The mummy stradled the cycle , hit the kick starter and was gone in a blur of dust and bandages streaming in the wind. What a heck of a night this is and I still have a few more miles to go before I rest.

Continuing my journey, I walk down the road a piece when a phantom deer with a huge rack of atleast 12 points runs by me. A man of considerable stature comes out the mist not far behind the phantom, he seem s to be stalking it. The man has a primitive bow and dressed in buckskins. Upon seeing me, he says, "Shhhhh! I am Chimac, The Spirit of the Hunt. I hunt the Great Spirit Deer to bring prosperity to my tribe." He disappears into the mist continuing his hunt. Almost on the heels of the spirit hunter comes a beagle, it stops in front of me and says, "I really have to keep an eye on that hunter. Why would anyone hunt deer when you can hunt rabbits." The beagle runs into the mist. I walk on a ways and come to a small lake and on the shore is a lady with a yellow kayak. Sge offers to take me to the other side. I leap on the kayak and off we go to the other side. About half way across the lake, she flips the kayak sending me into the water. after she rights herself , I climb back on and she says, " I thought you might want to wash off that road dirt before we get to the otherside, ain't I sweet!" We finally get to the otherside and I hop off. Looking back at the lady and the kayak, I notice the name on the kayak. It was " Maggie". Following the road uphill, I meet a hunter in a motorized chair. He had on camo with bottles sticking out of his pockets and a nice black powder rifle. He advised me under no circum stances to go to the house at the top of the hill. Of course being curious as I am, I asked, " Why". He advised there were most horrible things in that house. Then he just went speeding down the road. The journey continues.

As I walk up the road, I notice street lights a the top of the hill. I come to the street and there are kids playing street hockey. In the midst of the kids is an older gentleman sw3erving between the kids and then he steals the puck and slams it into the makeshift net os a sheet stretched between two bicycles. The gent was telling the kids that sometimes you only have one shot at the net and you have to make it count.I look across the3 street and there are all sorts of people entering a nice brownstone house. I cross the street and go up the steps of the house . There is a man by the door with a shop apron and goggles handing out steel roses to the ladies. I walk in the door and saw the wildest party I have ever seen. The skeleton with the Goofy shirt is dancing with a lady dress in a Princess Di costume, pigs were running wild all over the house, and the saloon girl was laying across the piano singing,"I'm a Victim of Love" while being acompanied by the archer. The horse was drinking out the punch bowl, the beaver man would slip from beneath the table reacing up to grab a handful of cookies before disappearing under the tablecloth again, the Big Man was at the end of the tablerelishing a lobster as he dipped it in butter, and the hunter spirit was in a chair regaling people with stories of his hunts while the beagle was running around the floor chasing the Energizer Bunny. The werewolf had Lady Godiva in the corner licking her cheek while huffing air trying to blow her hair from strategic places, Katrina the good witch was standing by the window laughing at me, and a guy that dressed as Bill Clinton without pants was waving a cigar around like a sword. Now I being the kind that likes a little order to a party walked over to the guy that looked like Bill Clinton and said, "Hey I know you are from Arkanas, but, would you put your pants on , you are scaring the pigs." I heard a voice behind me asking if I wanted to dance. I turned and their was the lady dressed as Princess Di and I could see the skeleton behind her giving me a nasty look. Lady Di removed her mask and my blood froze in terror. I inched toward the door hoping my feet would just keep going. I went like a shot out the door, trip over the guy with the roses and went headlong down the stairs. At the bottom, I came up on my feet running across the road right through the hockey players and down the hill to the lake. I was moving so fast when I hit the lake I barely made a ripple as I ran across the lake. On the other side there was a bright light, it wa Katrina the good witch still laughing at me. I stopped in front of her and she said, "I casted a speel on you to lead you to that house and I really thought you wanted to dance with Hillary Clinton." As my pulse slowed down and I could catch my breath, the only thing I could reply was, "Very Funny!" Katrina said, "Alright I had my halloween trick on you so, if you close your eyes and turn around three times , you will be in Virginia." I closed my eyes and turned three times. I'm not sure if Katrina was playing another trick or if she was just a lousy witch, but, when I opened my eyes, I was on top of Virginia Graham and she was lecturing me on proper ettiquette in the bedroom. This was one hell of a night.