Dear EraticChris1,     Hi , my name is Happykjk2, some of the people on the site who know me better call me just ' Happy' and drop the 'kjk2' , any way.  I like being called Happy, it goes along with how I have changed so much this past year, being envolved in the b/p support site.

 

Reading your post, brought back my own times when I get to that state of mind, in Deep Depression; which my brain trigggers into thoughts of Suicide.  I have had this my whole life, since child hood.  I don't know why?  I am still here; only through the grace of God.

 

I finally came to the conclusion that Suiside just isn't what I am supposed to do, I am like what you said , fighting it.  I thank you for this important reminded.  I just went through an episode of suiside syndrom, it lasted 2 days.   It IS very Scary !  But I don't wish Death for myself.  So I feel like I am stuck in a pit of thick tar&mud, it is very hard to walk through.  I pray, and it passes. 

 

I am now going to a Bi-Polar Moods Disorder Support Group once a week.  This group is going to help me with what I told them about these depressions , and suicide episodes I go through.  They asked me what was one of the sugjects I most wanted to work on.  I am glad that I will soon know where that feeling comes from, and how to cope with it.

 

You will be in my prayers EraticChris1.   I pray that you find your way around suicidal thoughts they are scary, and lies that our minds give us when we don't have a better answer. There is a better soution.  Forget about the suicide, and find something you enjoy doing and do that instead for awhile. I hope I have been of some help to ya. If you can't find anything, hold on to your fanny, and yell for Help !  I hope you believe in God, cuz' you can talk to God. You can also Pick up the phone and CAll someone you trust.    please post us and let us know how you are doing.    love & hugs   Your sister in ButterflyLand   Happy   : )  God bless you 

EraticChris1 <[email protected]> wrote: