Well we are getting ready to go to SC to see my son and my grandsons. My parents live there. Even at my age scares from the past come rushing back just thinking about this visit. Those who really know me. Know the differance that proper mental health care and meds have done for me. The problem is that my parents think that I should not be going to mental health and I should not be taking meds. Growing up with my folks was extreme to say the least. In fact out of three kids I am the only one that speaks to them. Someone I think JimJim said that you cant have what was never there. How true that statement is for me. I never had so much as a hug from my parents. No I love you, just abuse growing up. Since my brothers disowned my folks they have got a little better. But it seems forced and fake to me. I think I am as well as I am ever going to be right now. So I am so much more able to cope with the flash backs and any stress this visit may put on me. This is good because I know no matter how my visit goes with them that I will stay strong and take comfort in the fact that I know I am right about my treatment and my meds. No I dont like taking the meds. They have their side effects. My weight etc. But the one thing that I do know is that I need them. Stopping them would be risking my life. I overdosed the last time I crashed about three years ago. I could have died and it has left perm damage to my bladder. In fact I almost ended up wearing a bag. I dont concider myself a weak person. In fact I think I am very strong. There are those like my parents that think I am being weak by getting help. I say walk a mile in my shoes. I am working on my self asteme. I need to learn to love myself. I think a lot of us here need to do that. I take one day at a time right now. I try not to be so hard on myself. I think no matter how others judge us that we judge ourselfs ten times worse. Wow it looks like I have wrote a book here. Thanks for the eyes lol.
Rose, you seem to have a good handle on and a good understanding of your situation. Only you and your pdoc know how to best deal with your illness. Taking one day at a time is best. It took me a long time to learn to do this; but it makes life so much easier. Keep up the good thoughts. I admire your strength. Hope you really enjoy your trip. Hugs, Rain.
((((Rose)))) I agree with Rain, she stated it all so well. Ya are a strong person, and are able to stay on top of ya feelings. I wouldn't concentrate on ya folks, only the visit ya are going to have with ya son and grandson. That alone will bring ya alot of joy. Where are ya gonna be staying, not with ya folks I hope. Keep us posted when ya get back from ya trip! and share pictures also. Ya have a pot of gold in ya son and grandson!!!!
I woke up this morning feeling refreshed because I shared the aniexty I was having about my parents. I feel like I got it off my chest. I will be staying with my oldest son. My parents have him brain washed about my my medications and treatment also. But he knows better than to cross his mom lol. I am the only one that knows what is best for me. Really since I found the right treatment and meds I feel like I have stepped into the light. Thanks for your support ladies.
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