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Recommend (1 recommendation so far) Message 1 of 95 in Discussion 
From: MSN Nickname™Kasey69�?/nobr>  (Original Message)Sent: 8/29/2005 4:31 PM
I Have way too many jokes I can pass on...but here are the ones that are topical to relationships...

"Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night." - Rodney Dangerfield

"There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL." - Lynn Lavner

"Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope." - Camille Paglia

"Sex is one of the nine reasons for incarnation. The other eight are unimportant." - George Burns

"Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship." - Sharon Stone

"Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men.
Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps." - Tiger Woods

"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-*." - Jack Nicholson

"Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet." - Robin Williams

"Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place." - Billy Crystal

"According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other women. They say that women are too judgmental, where, of course, men are just grateful." - Robert De Niro

"There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe swelling. So what's the problem?" - Dustin Hoffman

"There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men think, 'I know what I'm doing. Just show me somebody naked'." - Jerry Seinfeld

" It's been so long since I've had sex, I've forgotten who ties up whom." - Joan Rivers

" Sex is one of the most wholesome, beautiful and natural experiences money can buy." - Steve Martin

" You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little thi ngs like being spanked every day by a middle-aged woman. Stuff you pay good money for in later life." - Elmo Phillips

" Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same." - Oscar Wilde

" It isn't premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married." - George Burns

I am
seeking
between
and
zip code
 

First  Previous  81-95 of 95  Next  Last 
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Recommend  Message 81 of 95 in Discussion 
From: MSN NicknameManny675Sent: 9/9/2006 6:16 PM
he who dies with the most toys,still dies

Reply
Recommend  Message 82 of 95 in Discussion 
From: MSN NicknameMax5968Sent: 9/10/2006 12:39 AM
this saturday, may the RED and BLACK whip everything NoT  wearing RED and BLACK      GO DAWGS!!!!  Lewis Grizzard

Reply
Recommend  Message 83 of 95 in Discussion 
From: MSN NicknamePastryjen1Sent: 9/10/2006 6:40 AM
Death is more universal than life, everyone dies, but not everyone lives

Reply
Recommend  Message 84 of 95 in Discussion 
From: MSN NicknameManny675Sent: 9/10/2006 3:31 PM
don't just do something,sit there

Reply
Recommend  Message 85 of 95 in Discussion 
From: MSN NicknameManny675Sent: 9/22/2006 12:40 AM
I can have any woman I please.Problem is,I dont please any..

Reply
Recommend  Message 86 of 95 in Discussion 
From: MSN Nickname†êã§gãlSent: 10/1/2006 3:38 PM

Reply
Recommend  Message 87 of 95 in Discussion 
From: MSN Nickname¤†h€_Bã£Ð_Ònè¤Sent: 10/9/2006 6:31 AM
"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire."
Winston Churchill

"A modest little person, with much to be modest about."
Winston Churchill

"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure."
Clarence Darrow

"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary."
William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)

"Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words?"
Ernest Hemingway (about William Faulkner)

"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it."
Moses Hadas

"He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know."
Abraham Lincoln

"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it."
Groucho Marx

"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it."
Mark Twain

"He has no enemies , but is intensely disliked by his friends."
Oscar Wilde

"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play, bring a friend... if you have one."
George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill

"Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second... if there is one."
Winston Churchill, in response

"I feel so miserable without you, it's almost like having you here."
Stephen Bishop

"He is a self-made man and worships his creator."
John Bright

"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial."
Irvin S. Cobb

"He is not only dull himself, he is the cause of dullness in others."
Samuel Johnson

"He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up."
Paul Keating

"He had delusions of adequacy."
Walter Kerr

"There's nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won't cure."
Jack E. Leonard

"He has the attention span of a lightning bolt."
Robert Redford

"They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human knowledge."
Thomas Brackett Reed

"He inherited some good instincts from his Quaker forebears, but by diligent hard work, he overcame them."
James Reston (about Richard Nixon)

"In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily."
Charles, Count Talleyrand

"He loves nature in spite of what it did to him."
Forrest Tucker

"Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?"
Mark Twain

"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork."
Mae West

"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go."
Oscar Wilde

"He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts... for support rather than illumination."
Andrew Lang (1844-1912)

"He has Van Gogh's ear for music."
Billy Wilder


Reply
Recommend  Message 88 of 95 in Discussion 
From: MSN Nicknamehottmomma1022Sent: 10/9/2006 7:28 PM
"Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other. Perhaps they should live next door and just visit now and then."

Reply
Recommend  Message 89 of 95 in Discussion 
From: MSN Nickname­TriggerSent: 10/9/2006 10:31 PM
....and that Hott was EXACTLY what the plan was with my last girlfriend.

Reply
Recommend  Message 90 of 95 in Discussion 
From: MSN Nicknamehottmomma1022Sent: 10/10/2006 3:10 AM
See, I think it's a perfect plan!  We maintain our independence, don't have to worry about "where the hell did he/she put that?", spend our own money the way we please and see fit, do things the way we are used to and comfortable with...I think it's great!
 
Funny, too, that I found this quote, because we just had a nice young/hott neighbor move in next door. AND, he has a daughter the same age as Dylan. hmmmm  Can ya see Momma's wheels a turnin'? lol
 
I think I'm going to bake him a "welcome to the neighborhood" cake.

Reply
Recommend  Message 91 of 95 in Discussion 
From: MSN Nicknamemoonbaby40Sent: 10/15/2006 2:24 PM

Cherish forever what makes you unique, ‘cuz you're really a yawn if it goes.   ~Bette Midler


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Recommend  Message 92 of 95 in Discussion 
From: MSN Nicknamemoonbaby40Sent: 10/15/2006 2:26 PM
"We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars..."
Leo Lemke from The Butcher's Wife.

Reply
Recommend  Message 93 of 95 in Discussion 
From: MSN Nicknamehottmomma1022Sent: 10/25/2006 1:18 AM

"Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength;

loving someone deeply gives you courage."


Reply
Recommend  Message 94 of 95 in Discussion 
From: MSN Nicknamefreebird3626351Sent: 10/25/2006 11:24 PM
Nice one (((((HOTT)))))!!!!!

Reply
Recommend  Message 95 of 95 in Discussion 
From: MSN NicknameQuietTC1Sent: 8/5/2008 6:52 PM
To get a handle on Modern French Philosophers just assume that everyting nonphysical is real and everything of substance is unreal.  So, sadness is real; escargot is not.

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