Well, Shelley,  there may be people out there who don't realise that - but don't you think you're rather stating the obvious without any particular new or helpful insight. Also, I was no older than fifteen when throwing my weight around, as were those who knocked me about when I first enrolled. Still an appalling way to behave, for sure and my apologies will always be offered - but if you do want to get picky about it, it does have a bearing on terminology, culpability and criminality in the courtroom. I'd hope all the teenage bullies have changed their ways and leave it at that. Maybe that's not okay for some of the bullied, perhaps yourself and others but the 'dark side' to which  allusions have already been  made  appear to be more sinister. 

 Neil

Neil,

My last posting did not actually address what I really wanted to say, so here goes another try.

 

I believe that there is a real danger by people that have experienced, what I and others would consider to be the normal rights of passage stuff, to analyze and discuss it in meaningful huddles to the point of insanity.Thereby perpetuating a time that has long passed and that one can do nothing about. I merely believe that you protest too much regarding the bad time you had in your earlier period to somehow justify the bullying that you later exercised. I have experience of harrowing abuse in my own family yet the victim does not let it cover as some excuse for other later behavior,they have in fact gotten over it and are making great strides at being a normal well balanced human being.

 

For myself, I too have had a traumatic time in life, events including being blown off a balcony by EOKA terrorists while still in the womb to surviving mortar attacks on a shop that I was in, friends dying etc. I do not, however, keep harking back to these events, in fact this is the first time that they have ever been commited to recorded history, I prefer to forget and move on.

 

Cheers,

Nick.

Nick, don't you think there are always antecedent conditions that govern (not 'justify') all aspects of human behaviour, from the trivial to the murderous. This site presently includes threads for discussing some areas that are possibly very relevant to the course of a number of lives, certainly areas of interest to me academically, professionally and personally. It is perhaps essential that courtesy, sensitivity and care is maintained in these areas, admittedly a predictable argument given my own record. If you feel you have nothing further to contribute on these matters and prefer to concentrate, hyponymically, on 'What are we listening to today?', then so be it. But attempting to  deride  free-flowing discussion   is also 'protesting' a liittle too much.

Neil

Ok,

 

Well it seems this topic is set to simmer - probably due to the cloud of secrecy involving the 'accidental' deletion of some of the messages �?

 

I under stand people why some people feel that this subject should be openly discussed on this site - and I suppose I reluctantly agree with this view.

 

However, I think it would be prudent to try the parallel site idea. I will delete this discussion and create new 'Abuse page' showing people how to get onto the parallel site.

 

For anyone who anticipates making major contribution like 'Quantock Survivor'  (and to prevent a repeat of any 'accidental' deletion of their comments) the site will also be open for people to join incognito to preserve their privacy.

I sincerely hope this is a wise decision ...

 

Mike

Neil,

 

I do not wish te deride free-flowing discussion,nor downplay any sense of "wrong doing", I do, however, wish to prevent the site from drowning in a malaise of pity for those that were alleged to have been victims of abuse.

 

I just  deal with things in a different way to you, and if that is wrong or not how a professional would do it,well that is just tough.It has worked for me and my family, and that is all that concerns me.

 

Nick.

Nick, listen to 'Variations on a Theme by Thomas Tallis' by Brian Eno and chill out, ferchrissakes.

Neil

Ok, Ok ... boyz -  I think you guys could consider calling time on this one before it slants off into the personal stuff ....!!
 
I know you both have strong opinions, and for what it's worth, I think you both have a point!
 
I know Nick will find it hard to left anyone off the hook for past deeds, but to me it seems that Neil is doing his best to say sorry, and even works in an institution helping youths who haven't had the best start.
 
With this said, it seems to me that you guys will never meet in the middle so maybe you might consider calling it a day ...  ?!
 
If you think I should butt out, fair enough ... !!!

 

mmm...complete indifference to a subject might result in perfect behaviour, but sterile conversations - and then...no, no, no, I do believe you are right again, thankyou, Mike. 

Over and out,

Neil  

Oh !!
Don't stop, can't wait for the fisty cuffs.
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Neil,

 

Thanks for the advice. I know what to listen to,and it isn't you;but I am chilled out thanks.

 

Nick.