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| | From:  daggi122 (Original Message) | Sent: 3/21/2008 2:14 AM |
Is a while now for me to send a message, I am so ready to give up on life, I am so hopeless. had an accident march 1st 2005. The pain in my left side getting worse it is so bad, and now my right side starting. I own 2 month on my house payment, eletric bills, oil bill and so on. Wc is not paying enough to make it, worked as a contrator for the Army in NJ, had to stop working because off my RSD ,April21st 2007, I now 100% disabled but I got denied SSD so I have no more health insurance, WC paying my doctors for RSD but for all my other medical I have to pay out my own pocket, so if Iam getting ill I can not afford to see my family doctor. Today my lawyer spoke with the militar Jag(lawyer) to settle my law suit what I have against the army base, the Jag said that my RSD happens because off a pre existed condintion, there is none. My doctors who I saw and I saw many all saying because off the fall this way I have now RSD. So the army is making me trouble, I don't understand what is going on is was there fault that I got injured and they are doing this to me, my lawyer also said today that the army lawyer would call back next monday maybe they will offer $100,000 this is a big yoke, my life is done the pain are non stop my left side looks like dead tissue people comimng over to me and asking what is wrong with my left side. If I have to take the Army to a federal court I have to wait at least 3 more years to get a trial, I can't make it this long, I had so much faith that they wouls settle but no I am so hopeless why on earth they saying that I had a pre existing condintion this is wrong I don't have one. I want to give up my life is gone RSD have taken my life and now this . Honestly I don,t want to life anymore I am so afraid there is no hope for me. I AM AFRAID, why are they doing this to me? |
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| | | From: Tami62 | Sent: 3/21/2008 6:06 AM |
Hi daggie122,
I am so sorry to hear that you are having such a hard
time with everything. Please don't give up. Take life
one day at a time, one problem at a time, sometimes
you can only do minute by minute. First I would deal
with trying to lower your pain so you can cope better.
Talk to your doctor for some options to give you more
relief. Learn how to meditate to help get you through
the really high pain days. Eat healthy and stay away
from junk food and chocolate and caffeine as much as
possible. Avoid all the things that cause you stress
for a while and clear your mind of your troubles for a
minute. There are lots of suggestions on the boards
about that. The biofeedback is an excellent tool to
help you learn how to lower your pain on your own. Ask
your doctor about it and read about it on the boards
and the web. Second, think about some options that may
be available to you to help with your financial
situation. There is one member here that I know of who
has decided to take in some room-mates (or house
mates)to help pay the bills and has one room mate who
helps her with her personal care. It was a challenge
for her at first and had to change room mates a few
times but it seems to finally be working out for her.
You might give that some serious consideration, at
least until you get things ironed out with wc and the
army. Also there are some assistance programs that you
may qualify for. Check into your local government
assistance programs and apply for everything you can.
Even a little help would be better than none. It may
provide you with just enough to be able to hold your
head above water. Don't give up on fighting for your
ssd. You usually have to appeal their decision and
your atty should be helping you with that as well.
Third, re-evaluate your lawyers knowledge about RSD
and what his actions and reactions have been. If you
don't feel completely confident in him then you should
get another opinion from another atty. Shop around. If
you send me you email I can send you a link for a law
firm who deals with RSD and has a net work of atty's
accross the U.S. and they will talk with you about
your case and situation and find you an atty that may
be able to do better for you. They also offer
knowledge and support to those atty's. We are using
them know and feel very good about them. They have
taken a lot of time to research what ever they can
about RSD and how it affects your life. Your atty may
be good but may just need a little more confidence and
knowledge about it all. You can help him by sharing
what ever info you come across. If you only have a wc
atty then you may qualify for a second atty for a
civil suit depending on your situation. I would
definitely consult with several other atty's who know
about RSD. Even if it is not in your city. You can do
a lot of it by phone or online. Do not settle with the
first few offers. Hang on and fight them! You do risk
the chance of loosing your house and everything else
but if it gets you the bigger picture and more money
to help with the remainder of your life then it will
be worth it in the long run. We are going to have to
downsize ourselves just to survive.
Forth, re-evaluate your medical care and your doctors
knowledge of RSD. Do more research about all the
options out there and if your doctor hasn't already
mentioned them then educate him too. Get a second
opinion and a third if needed. Shop around for a good
neurological surgeon and a neurological pain doctor.
Even if you have to travel a little to get the other
opinions. It will definately help your case. I also
have a link for prescription help but I have to locate
it on my computer. I can send that to you as well. If
your RSD is not pre-existing then they can help you
prove it. If it was then there are still other options
for medical care. The more we fight and win the more
the government will acknowledge RSD and the more help
we can get. The professionals we have to deal with
today don't know enough to just trust them on their
say so. We have to do some of the leg work and
research it ourselves so that we will know if they
know what they are talking about and even have to
educate everyone involved sometimes too.
Last but not least, you need to broaden your support
network. Talk to others about it all and get their
input and talk to people who listen to you. This group
is a good place to start. I have other links for
support as well and you can chat live with others and
make friends with people who know how you feel and
probably have some other ideas to help you. Don't shut
yourself off from everyone. Reach out and let others
know you need someone to talk to. It does help get you
through the bad days. You can email me anytime.
[email protected] and instant message me when ever
you see me online. I have yahoo so it works with msn
too. You are definitely not alone and we will help you
get through it all. I know I am long winded but I felt
you needed some things to think about that would help.
I hope tomorrow is a better day and lower pain.
I hope to hear from you soon and stay strong.
Tami
____________________________________________________________________________________
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hey daggi I'm sorry that life is so hard for you and the this lawyer is not helping all companies are like this to seems to aviod paying money but keep fighting you know whats real and what happened.I think tami is right one day at a time or one hour at a time whatever you can handle is important.We are all here for you.You are a strong person.Please keep posting. If you need to talk to someone add me, my emails is in the group list.I also have the conference call number that we set up when you wanted to do the group we could uses that you said you wanted to do that anyway.I'm sure we could work out a time this weekend to talk I'm here for you take care of yourself aimee |
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Hello Daggi 122, Believe it or not I have been thru almost exactly what you are going thru now, if you are under 50 years old SSD will always deny you unless you show up in court with your legs and arms missing :). If this was your first round with SSD, you will win your second when it goes to court. I uses to count leaves on the plants in my house to keep my mind off of the pain, I did lots of things like that. Being behind on bills is stressing you out and I know that makes RSD hurt worse...Just breath deep Daggi, close your eyes and just take a vacation in your mind. Things always get worse before they get better and I know things will eventually look up for you as it did for me...and it took 5 years for me to get settled in with this disease. Never give up, just take a break. Write me any time, I have almost 9 years experiance now with RSD and I am still doing it Frank |
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thank you I feel so lost I did do nothing wrong, yes is would be great if I could talk with you Dagmar |
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Yeah l know stress increses pain, I don't understand why noone understands how RSD affects life, my lawyer stinks she is not fighting for me, The Army lawyer has no prove about pre exsisting conditions, I don't have one. When I slipped and broke my left hand/fingers my RSD started so what they are taking about it. I am 53, I feel like my life is oversee what will happens with the Army lawyer and my lawyer next Monday. If I have to take them to court is can take a long time, I cannot make it,everybody told me that the Army would settle that there is no way for them to go to court because they will loose and I can ask for so much money and the jury will grant me the amount, but now is look not this way. I feel like a liar Daggi |
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I added you to msn we'll chat soon take care mirage |
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dear daggi122,
my prayers and many blessing are with you. I had RSD for 11 years of hell!! have you tried to contact your congressman? my congressman was very helpful. tell your congressman to speak with congressman dennis kucinich (Ohio-D)his brother has RSD on a worker's comp.also, keep a daily diary ex: your pain, doctors appointment, perscriptions,ect.
best wishes,
chris
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Hello Chris thanks for your prayers. I did talk to my Senator he said that he don't get involved in law suits.I live in NJ thinking to call the TV and let the media know what is going on . I took care off the Soldiers going and coming back from War and I got injured because the Army is to cheap to clear the parking lot, and now they treating me like a criminal. daggi |
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I'm sorry to hear that you are feeling this way. If you've read any of my posts you know that I have periods of time when I feel the same way...like I just want to give up. Being a seventeen year old I don't know the horrors of workers comp but I've read about it on hear. I do know that I worry about those things way more than any teenager should. I wonder how I will be financially. Many of you on here got RSD after having a job. What do you do when you have to get your first job and you already have RSD and always will as far as I know? I'm not sure how that will work for me. I'm somewhat limited as to what I can do, physically anyways. I guess my things are minor compared to yours. I don't have to think about bills yet. I think about how I'm going to get those papers done for my class when all I want to do is sleep. I wonder how I will ever get caught up from all the day of school i've missed because I just felt too painful and tired to go to school...or because I couldnt' sleep the night before. I worry about focusing in class when my meds make me kind of tired. I worry about maintaining my weight now that I have to force myself to eat cuz I feel sick to my stomach all the time. I wonder who will ever love me despite my condition. I worry about how my condition will progress over the years. I'm especially worried about getting help. I don't know much about workers comp but I do know about batteling with insurance companies. When we moved my parents insurance changed, and now they're making this huge deal about paying for my expenses because apparantly they're preexisting. Even when I have new things, like the pain I'm having in my wrists that i think could be carpal tunnel, they wont pay for me to go to a rheumotologist like my doctor wants me to. Which makes no sense because yes pain is preexisting but no one has ever diagnosed anything in my wrists. It's like insurance is intended to help you when you or your family get's sick, but they will do everything in their power to make sure they don't spend a dime on your well being. I just focus on the things RSD cannot take away from my life. It cannot cripple love
It cannot shatter hope
It cannot corrode faith
It cannot destroy peace
It cannot kill friendship
It cannot suppress memories
It cannot silence courage
It cannot invade the soul
It cannot steal eternal life
It cannot conquer the spirit.
It cannot burn away my will to live It cannot define me It will not consume me Part of this list I got from others, part I made myself. Remember that no matter how hopeless you feel, no matter how hopeless i feel, we are in this together, we are fighting the same battle, and we will not let RSD defeat us. Look at how week RSD is. All of the things that matter in life it cannot take away. |
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Hi Rat Lover I feel so bad for you, you are so young I have no rights to complain I am 52 years old and you are only 17 . You have your entire life ahead off you like you know living with RSD is horrible. Next time when I want to give up I should think about you, like today I am scare to live and the pain taking over me. I am having so much stress and this is not helping me at all. I can tell that you are a great young women. Thanks for writing to me |
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Dont you dare give up!!!!!!!!!!
Things will work out.
Never surrender never quit! |
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hey daggi, sorry to hear about all the troubles your having... believe you me... I've been there... we were in the process of building our home and we had to bosh that because I got hurt and we just don't have the money. I feel what you are saying about there not being enough money and that don't send checks like they should and the bullshit offer you got of $100,000.00 for your life... no amount is enough. I'm tired of telling people that... but, they don't care. I was so upset I told the judge of my case, that still isn't finalized , that I wish they could spend just one day in my shoes so they could grasp what I go thru everyday and will go thru everyday until I die or it kills me what ever is first. No one could say anything they just sat there in silence. I even told my employers laywers they could hire someone to follow me around to see that I'm not out living it up. I told him hell I could use the company..... It sucks that we all have this but, we're all in this together on this site..... and it's good to come on here and vent everynow and then. Take care of your self, Michelle |
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Hi,
With all my heart, I'm so sorry for all that you're going through. For what it's worth, I've walked on many of the paths you are, so you're not alone.
Regarding the RSD crossing from one leg to the other. I too had RSD only in my left leg for the first 8 years, then all of a sudden it popped over to my right. It only took 3 years for the right leg to be equally as damaged as the left. Both are black all the way to the knee.
Workers Compensation is not about helping the employee. It's about controlling medical losses/costs whenever someone gets hurt on the job. This system is totally out of control, and I'm very afraid you'll only see it get worse over time.
We too had a case, and we were actually the one in a million that went all the way to court (it took 8 years). We were in court three whole weeks. It was the worse 3 weeks of my life. Sadly enough it was Sprint who'd caused my accident, but yet when they learned I had RSD they hired the very best experts who would say exactly what they wanted the jury to hear. Their lies were better evidence then my truths, so in the end we lost. Once again I must sadly admit that our court system is in ruin.
Now the question is where you go from here.
#1: Accept that you're going to make some changes. This might include moving into some type of assisted housing, or even living with a loving family member or friend.
#2: The reason you didn't get approved for SSD was simply because your doctors have not documented your damage correctly. If they'll state exactly what the damage is, and your prognosis, your RSD will be approved through SSD. Thanks to my doctors I was approved 90 days after we submitted our request. Go back and start again, please.
#3: Stop comparing life with yesterday, because yesterday is over. I have been wheelchair bound for 9 years, haven't made love in 11 and have not slept in a bed for 2 1/2. Life is not what it once was, but trust me, there are new wonderful days still ahead, so long as you're willing to change the way in which you accept them and strive to become more.
RSD (and in my case, nerve damage) has changed your entire life. Finances are falling apart, and you don't know where to turn. You are not alone. With inflation going through the roof, we're all scared to death each month at how we'll keep our checkbooks in the black. When my mother started to send me some money every month my ego hit an all time low, yet I put my ego aside and just appreciate her love and help. You too will need to accept that which is shared from the heart, including cash.
Get with Family Services and see what direction they advise. Trust me, they will work with you, and they'll try every single option out there, so long as you're willing to work with them too.
Last note: Pain is our constant companion. You don't have to feel like you're loosing your mind as the pain devours you. If you're not getting pain relief now, then you'll need to find a doctor who will care. It now takes me a morphine pump plus 3 additional oral opioid's each day so I don't scream all the time, and yet I'm still in pain. You'll never get away from it 100%, but with time and good medical care, it can be reduced.
The hardest problem I've had, and still do, is in allowing my friends and family to help, yet without them I'd have lost my fight a long time ago. Let those in your life help, but don't forget that it's a two way street. Make sure you come up with new creative ways to share your love and care for them too. I've learned how to bake bread. I now make cross stitch book markers, and I'm always around whenever someone is in computer crisis since that's what my background is. Share the skills you have with those who care for you, and you'll get even more in return every time.
Please take care, and know there are those of us who do. Bob. |
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