When I first read this poem, I was married. I didn't understand it,
nor did I like it. I was as codependent as they come. In fact, I really didn't like it.
After my divorce, I began to understand it's meaning.
I came to realize that it is about inner strength, and learning that women
have tolearn not to depend on a man, or anyone, for their happiness
and fulfillment. I learned that in everyone's life there are goodbyes
of one kind or another. We are always saying goodbye.
Spouses let us down; sponses disappoint us; spouses don't keep promises.
So,
we have to build our own world, our own lives, and learn not to
depend on anyone else. Most of all, I learned that we can survive
if we are strong. Then, anything that comes along to make us
happy is just icing on the cake.

"After a While"

©1971 Veronica A. Shoffstall

"After a while you learn the subtle difference
between holding a hand and chaining a soul
And you learn that love doesn't mean leaning
and company doesn't always mean security
And you begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts
and presents aren't promises
And you begin to accept your defeats
with your head up and your eyes ahead
with the grace of a woman, not the grief of a child
And you learn to build all your roads on today
because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain for plans
and futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight.
After a while you learn that even sunshine burns
if you get too much.
So you plant your own garden and decorate your own soul
instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.
And you learn that you really can endure
that you really are strong
and you really do have worth
And you learn and you learn
with every goodbye you learn�?BR>