Society's Lost and Forgotten

As I go through this spritual journey I try to be more aware of the way I treat other people. I try to take time to do good deeds. I'm no Saint, I assure you... but I work at becoming a better person, a person that people see Spirit within. 

This particular evening I had just finished a very long phone conversation with a freind, we were talking about spirituality.  I was feeling particularly full of myself. I got off the phone and went out to the street to move my car.  I realized almost immediatly that the night air was somehow different, crisp, and very much alive. There was no noticable breeze, yet the leaves on the trees seemed to russtle almost like the trees had come alive and no one else could see or hear their song. I was so excited to be experiencing this that I decided to just drive around for awhile with all the windows down. As I drove up and down the City streets I noticed more and more magic. The stop lights glowed with illuminating color, there was a whisper that followed people thru the streets. It was like seeing the world for the first time. I must have driven around for two hours. I finally decided to buy myself an Ice Cream, but the gas station I pulled into had already locked their cooler (afterall it was 11:00 pm). 

I noticed a bum out of the corner of my eye. There in the far corner of the gas station parking lot, in the darkness was a rather large man standing and leaning up against a shopping cart full of his treasures.  I believe he was sleeping, or trying to.  I decided to go and get that ice cream but I would come back after my $20 was broken. I got my ice cream and was 1/2 way home when I realized I drove by the station. The night had given me so much magic, I wanted to share it. I turned the car around (proudly) and drove back rehearsing my big line "God Bless You".  It was the blessing I wanted to give him, but blessings are sometimes better recieved with cash.  

I drove in the parking lot all excited and pre-rehersed. I pulled very near his shopping cart and with the truck window already down I said... "excuse me".  He was a great big man, probably 6'1, he wore overalls, had broad shoulders and was black. His size threw me,  because as he moved I could feel how gentle he was.  He got up slowly, he walked around to the side of his cart closest to me and I anxiously watched as he pulled out a clean, folded rag. He carefully wiped his hands, folded the rag in half and stored it safely where he had gotten it from. He turned, and began to walk over to me.  I put my head down for a moment to get the money and prepair to say my big line.

As I raised my head I noticed right away that he was full of Spirit. I could feel it so strong. I know I looked directly into his eyes, yet I cant remember seeing them. It was as though he was so Spiritual that his entire being was overflowing with the light. I saw it, recognized it and it left me speachless.  I sat there like a fool not able to deliver that big line. He must have taken the money that I held out, I really cant remember.  I couldnt stop looking into his eyes, I couldn't speak I couldn't move.  He said "God Bless You", and I snapped out of it and all I could manage to do was nod. He walked away and I realized I should drive off. 

As I drove home that night I realized how righteous I had acted.  A bum... societies discarded and forgotten human beings right? And me, the do-gooder.  The truth is that gentle kind man has everything I want.  Put simply, he is adored by Spirit.  He was the one that gave to me that night.  Through him I was reminded what it is that I am seeking.

- intense female