Today is a Gift
Ive been doing a lot of thinking about death recently, having to face the loss of my grandma, the last of 4 grandparents. My mom feels that my grandma died of loneliness, that no one, not even my mom who was so close to her, could fill my grandpa's shoes. My grandpa passed away late last fall. My grandparents grew up about 3 houses apart and lived in the same town all their lives. My grandfather built their first house brick by brick and they worked hard all their lives to make good lives for themselves and their children. They had many many good friends. They were very active in their church. My grandpa worked for the same company all his life. They were married for over 60 years. Their love for each other and their faith in God carried them through many tough years, both the early struggles of marriage and later after grandpa had his first stroke at age 45 and had to retire. They looked at every day after that as a gift they had to spend together. Every day was a gift. My grandmother suffered from Ostio-arthritis, a crippling disease which took her from a height of 5�? that I remember as a child to just under 5�?, with back surgeries and leg surgeries and so much pain on a daily basis. They gave such support to each other, when one was down or hurting or in pain, the other would pull them through. Still with all of this, they traveled west every other year to see their children and grandchildren, my family on the prairies and my uncle’s family on the west coast. They have seen more of Canada than anyone I know, except perhaps for my own parents. They have also traveled extensively through the states. They always traveled by car and saw as much as they could. Each new place they traveled to was a gift. Every person they met along the way was a gift.
As I write this, I am filled with so many memories of them and tears fill my eyes. But honestly, I don’t understand the tears. “They lived a full life�? Everyone would agree. They lived a full life. I should be able to celebrate that life and smile and be happy for all they had and all they shared with all they loved. I should understand that they are together now, again. I am so grateful for that. Is grief about feeling sorry for yourself, for your loss? Is that what the tears are about?
My grandpa passed away after attending a Christmas party. He had had a wonderful day and just returned home with grandma and was getting ready for bed. He had a massive stroke and they believe he died before he even hit the floor. He had spent the day with friends and his wife, in celebration, in laughter, in song. I bet he even played the organ which he loved so well. He did not suffer. For this I am grateful.
My grandma, recently moved into a retirement home, had only been there for two months before she had the stroke that left her non-responsive. She held onto life for 2 more days have multiple strokes but died without opening her eyes again. I tell you this so you will see that again, she did not suffer a lengthy illness. Most of her daily pain (from arthritis) was at this point taken care of thru medication and she had a motorized walker to help her walk. Her quality of life was good. For this I am grateful.
I know in my heart that they both accepted death as the next step in their spiritual lives. Their strong beliefs held them through so much. We went to clean out the home where my grandma stayed. Her prayer books were open on the table beside her chair, right beside their wedding picture. There was a sense of calm in the apartment, like she knew it was her time. She had prepared herself and was ready to go.
When I started to write this, I was going to talk about transitioning�?but it has turned out to be a piece on love and loving and the gift of appreciation instilled in me by my grandparents. They taught me a lot about life and living and laughter. Each day is a rare jewel. We can treasure it or we can waste it. The choice is ours. The choice we make determines the type of life we lead. Make each day a gift and each person in it a gift and see if it doesn’t make a difference to your life.
Love and Blessings, Laurel
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