WINDZ OF CHANGES

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i got an email today on our purpose here on earth....i have already thought about this one as i have the anniversary of my first husband's death coming in a few days and of course that brought up a few more emotions and thoughts about life and death....

i have often wondered why i was put here when my strength has been tested so many times..sometimes i feel like crumbling like a rock into gravel.......i guess i was put here to raise a family ....even though my mother told me many times i was doing it wrong, i did it my way like everything else back then.

through the years i have learned that there are other ways to do things maybe not conventional but other ways....i wonder if i should have taken those routes rather than the way i went....maybe my loved ones might still be here and i would have had more purpose now and i would be a more important part of life....

my life today doesn't seem to have a purpose...if i disappeared this minute only scraps of me would be left behind and not really me just things, material things, things that they say dont really matter in life, i find that ironic....that i will leave behind something that doesn't matter....why do i bust my butt to do them then.....i can only hope i did a little good somewhere......

i've done a lot of reflecting today...i think i should put all my thoughts down on paper i think i could fill a book today my mind has been everywhere.... got to pull myself together though my daughters birthday is 2 days after the anniversary of her dad's death and its always a very sad time for her so need to try to cheer her up....

and then life goes on.......where from here?

dear sassy, your email really opened my heart in realizing things.. thanks so much for sharing... and its not just "stuff" its like really important! love suzy

hi suz...i suppose it is important but it was just something i had to get off my chest....there was a whole lot more but no need to burden the pages here with it....things just build up sometimes....thanks Sassy

There is this little saying, "Time is a companion that goes with us on our journey thru life. It reminds us to cherish each moment because it will never come again. What we leave behind is not as important as how we lived." I've tried, throughout my adult life, to keep that little saying in the front of my mind. Especially when I get to feeling useless and feeling like my little part of this world seems to be crumbling down all around me. Some, no doubt, wonder why I believe that little saying like I do, but I totally agree with it....that's why. I really don't think that anything we leave behind when we pass on is as important as the memories of how we lived. How we treated the folks around us. How we conducted ourselves as ladys and gentlemen. How we spent time listening to someone in need of a listener instead of buying them an expensive bouquet of flowers, signing the little card "Love, Jane," and just going about out business like that's all we needed to do. Stop and think about it folks. What would matter most to you if your best friend, or your mother or father died today. What would you cherish the most? An expensive piece of jewelry you had given them as a gift 40-50 years ago, or the memories of the reason you gave them that expensive piece of jewelry? As for me, I'd prefer those memories. Sweet, sweet memories are what keep me going sometimes. Nobody can take those away from me. I can't lose them and they can't be lost or stolen. I don't care what physical or animate objects I leave behind when it's my time to leave this life. I do care about the memories that folks have about me though. I hope that I made a difference in their lives. I hope that I was able to help them at sometime in their lives. Even if it were just a little bit of help. So, please don't torture yourself trying to leave all sorts of "stuff" for your friends and loved ones when you go. Just leave them with alot of love in their hearts. Leave them with a feeling of peace in their heart. Leave them knowing that when they think of you they will recall all of the wonderful times you spent together. All of the times you just listened to them. All of the times you encouraged them to keep plodding along thru their lives...taking one step at a time...and growing more and more with each step that they took. I seriously doubt that any of us would leave behind anything that doesn't matter anyway. There's bound to be someone that this something is going to matter to. Ok, I guess I'd best hush-up for now. Please do NOT think that I'm trying to step on anyone's toes by saying what I've just said. That's waaaaay far from my intentions. I just want folks to understand that they will leave behind alot more than they think they will leave behind. Hang in there my friends! Life is for livin' so please, live it to the fullest you possibly can! Much love, Moki

my point was that i doubt i would even be missed even if i left something behind....guess i didn't make that very clear but it dont matter anyway....was just something i ws thinking about....not important.

YES SASSY U WOLUD BE MISS..

Of couse you'd be missed Sassy. Why wouldn't you be?? You've left memories of yourself with everyone you've ever known. That's just part of life hon. What I said in my post was NOT directed at you and what you've posted. I tried to make that clear. I'm sorry you took things the wrong way. Don't worry about it. You'll be missed......

Take care my friend.

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