I don't think I did myself any favors yesterday or night before that. Eat a couple of Reisen chocolate candies, eat potato salad a few times, add in Rice Flour blueberry muffins (which have Tapioca starch in them), even the chicken fried rice probably has some ingredient in it that's a no-no, and there goes the applecart, right over. Baaaad night, the closer to bed it got the worse my insides got wound up, try to sleep and get jolted awake, over and over and over. And I think it's a mental alert trigger thing, not physical that wakes me up. At least I think it starts from up there.

I think I fell asleep around 4 a.m. not sure. Sure wanted to sleep. Today there's joint aches, uneven emotional ground, etc. None of the stability I had the past two days when I was able to pack several moving boxes AND do abit of trim painting on the house. Definitely potatoes are a no-no, being in the nightshade family of plants that are known to trigger migraines and arthritis attacks. Why do I keep pushing it like that? I want to fit in, even with food. THAT I believe. Dumb dumb DUMB!!! It's like kicking yourself, you can't win at it. Oh I watched too much tv news I think, as well.

But mainly I think the culprit is the food. And not drinking enough fluids...the CFS dumps them out of me as fast as I take them in but sometimes I get dehydrated enough that, while my lungs are less cloggy for once, my throat gets tacky at night due to lack of water. So last night I kept piling in the water, a mouthful or so at a time and 15-20 minutes later going to the bathroom to dump it. I am SO TIRED of that stupid go around. "Oh drink 8 glasses a day." "Moisture is good for asthmatics." and on and on. YOU try it when your body is DETERMINED to immediately dump it right out of you again. Normal apparently is 6-8 bathroom trips a day. I must easily double or triple that, easily, particularly if trying to ingest those 6-8 glasses of water! It's impossible, I've tried for years. I keep trying but never get there.

Anyways I'm fed up today and feeling unstable means I feel vulnerable and a bit weepy with unsure and frightened hanging in the wings. Generally oh SO fun...NOT. Rats!!! Feel all shaky too. Drugs I took? Lack of sleep? Effects of eating foods bad for me? Probably all of them plus extra. BAH!

TC