Ah yes, there it was, the mighty Oswegotchie River, right where I left it 8 years ago. Gentely winding down through the valley with an occasional straight stretch. Dwight , Tom and I met there the night before so we would be all set to go by 9am. Good thing he had a patch kit with him, there were a couple holes and a crack that needed repair. Did I happen to mention that fiberglass rosin hardens fast? We had to use duct tape for some of the repair. Sunday morning,we took our time eating breakfast while waiting for moss and red. 9 o'clock came and went. Well, maybe there having trouble finding the place, there are signs, not sure if rednecks can read or not. 10 O'clock came and went. NO Red or Moss. Something must of happened and they wont make the trip. Can't call out from this area either to find out. We hit the river, water was a little low and the current was light. We took our time so Tom could get use to paddling, being in a single canoe. There was one spot where another inch of water would have helped. Soon after our break at High Rock, we heard something that sounded like ( your a dead man camper ), so we picked up the pace. Soon after, Red and Moss came screeching around a bend in the river in an all out attempt to catch up with us. Said something about a hangover made them late. We reached Griffin Rapids where I wanted to stay the first night but certain people wanted to go on, so on we went. "How much further " they would say. Taking into consideration the current, wind direction and the gravatational pull from the sun, its been 8 years, and I couldn't give them an accurate figure, just a rough one. " Some where between 1 to 3 hr. " I said. Every time we would come across a beaver dam, a bend in the river or a log in the water, I would hearReds5 favorit words, " YOUR A DEAD MAN CAMPER ", or something tike that. Before we reached camp at the bridge, there was a small set of rapids that's note worthy. Normally, you could paddle right through this section with out stopping but Red had to stop and try to impress us with his diving skills. I think he was trying to do a split leg up backward half cannonball. Only scored a 3 but was funneeeeeee. At camp there was another small chute we had to drag the canoes through but every one was happy to be there. While everyone was unpacking, I set off to find the spring. The trail led up the hill and into some blowdowns which I had to climb over. The place just didn't look the same anymore. Climbing up through the rocks all I found was some wet dirt between the rocks. "UH OH" I thought , " the spring has dried up, im in trouble now ". I went back down the trail a bit and then went back up. Things don't look right, its got to be here. Went back up a little higher, nothing. I was standing there wondering what plan B was going to be when I heard it. Behind me over a couple of blowdowns, there it was, still running and as cold as ever. Well, we got camp set up just in time to watch the sun go down which left us eating in the dark. Sence some of us had a hard day of paddling, we turned in early. Oh the snoring that went on, sounded like 10 bears were having a feeding frenzy. At one point, I thought a bear had a hold of tom. Monday morning we paddled up to the falls. There were a few more obsticles in the river than I expected and once again I heard " YOUR A DEAD MAN CAMPER ". Fishing at the falls wasn't all that great, Moss let a nice 8 inch trout go. I cought one that I thought was a trout at first but it had some funny scales. Come to find out it was a chub. The bullheads were biteing real good. (bait size ) Theres a lot of new groth up there but it still looks like someone droped a bomb there. Going to be years befor it regains the beauty it once had. Blueberries were abundent and you could eat your self silly. Hmmmmm, that explanes that. Took some back to add to my fry bread that evening. Even Moss liked it. he he he Back at camp, Red and Tom did some fishing in the pool below camp and almost cought something till I came flying down through the rapids on an air mattress. Couldn't beleave how warm the water was. Tryed out my new pancake maker, works great! Got to be carefull after you flip it, they tend to slide out. Then you half to brush the dirt off before you can eat them. It rained for a while monday night which made the river rise a couple inches. That helped. Tuesday morning was cool and cloudy. I got the fire going to finish drying out some sneakers. Everyone decided that they wanted to go somewhere where they could catch some fish, bigger ones of course. We packed up and headed down the river which was a little higher. By this time, Toms canoe was doing some serious leaking. We had to stop and bail several times, especially when it rolled over trying to get under a log. At Griffin Rapids, we melted some pine sap to pore in the holes which slowed the leak some but still had to bail some. Finally, back at Inlet, I think every one was happy to be there, we were trying to set up for some group photos when I accidentally got between the river and some river rats. You guessed it, I went swimming again. Moss ,Red, and Tom went up to Lake Placid and caught some nice trout, ( where are the pics ) and Dwight and I went up to Black lake for some R & R. Yea right, we couldn't keep those pesky fish off our lines. Had 7 bass over 15 inches, biggest was 18 inches. don't know how many 14 and under we caught. Never did get to play any pranks but seeing Red fall in made up for it. Moss gets to plan next years trip. With some luck, we might combine fishing, canoeing and camping Redbeards version First day of the trip and should have known it was going to be a trip of trips....(under statement) we stop the truck on this long dirt road leading to where we were going to meet.The truck was attacked by a deer fly convention....This started the catch phrase that was used the whole trip Camper you are a dead man......We unloaded the truck and canoe and observe that the river was not a river but a creek....camper you are a dead man........ankle deep water ....rocks sticking up every where....Off we go and around first bend was the first portage (one of about 25) we drag the canoe over rocks and small rapids...got through ok and next bend beaver dam...camper you are a dead man.... so camper and tom and campers brother is a head of moss and me...by a hour...(we recall the question camper what time do we meet..camper says a.m..we get there 11a.m...) By now i have come up with a song that i sing has we drag and paddle....camper your a dead man doo daa doo daa chop ya up fer your bear bait allllllllllllllllllll the doo daa day Hit you in the head with a fry pan doo daa dooo daa put you on a fire let it be on a spit all the doo daa day There are 25 verus's of this ditty we catch up to camper and have a beer break and tell camper you are a dead man did you not check water level did we not bug you for checking water level.Tom is beat, paddles and drags by him self...and i have to hand it to him..not sure i could do it...this time like last year. we stop at a place and camper says we set up here for the night...its in the middle of a swamp bugs are biting and we have no water...(before trip camp says don't bring water they have springs....camper has water?) we ask him how far to water and he says not to far (camper miles) so off we go over beaver dams ....drag drag drag......at one point we had to get out and drag all canoes up more rapids...cutting feet and stone bruise's...and we make it....we set up camp and the girl and i become friends again...we find out tom has talent...he can chew the tops off saintpauli girl bottle's with teeth and we talk about the water has we eat are meals and say have you noticed all thses bugs on the top of the water and no fish rising to get them....hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm Tom has sex with bear We hear this God allfull sound sounds like some one is puking...I hollar out please puke behind campers tent......then we hear what sounds like pleasure and I was sure he was getting raped by a 800 pd black bear...Has i drift off to sleep i kinda chuckle and think to my self we are going to have a hell of a time trying to explain to toms babe why he left her for male black bear next morning all is sore...My shoulder is beyond sore and we talk about the falls and fishing camper says 1 1/2 miles by walking (camper miles)....so off we go 5 or 6 miles of paddling and we find the falls water is warm...too too warm for trout.....I am trying to think of how to do the hangmens knot and find a tree....camper find blue berrys and starts to eat them....Moss washes some off for him ...he he he.......and we fish...I catch a trout 3 1/2 inches so i figure it cost's me $5 a inch , and a few 1 inch bull heads. Back to camp we go and say to are selfs were the hell are the fish...we fish all the back pools were trout should be holding up and no fish Pow wow time we decide enough we canoe and will canoe long lenghts to find fish but we want to get some fish and decide to camp at moss's house and I go fishing in the pool down from camp....got to be some fish in this creek.......Dam camper swims down rapids were i am fishing...death death......later i walk by him and push him in water he see's me and only gets 1 foot wet....dam dam dam next am cold i can see my breath...is this August or Oct.The only good thing is it rained the night before and rasied the water level up a few inches...we pack up and head back down the river and only have to carry over a couple of logs and bever dams....Beer break............... Tom has new girl friend Tom shows up canoe is leaking and he turned over on a log and sure was soaked and we look down and see some thing black on his leg...I tell him he picked up a girl friend and we burn it off (leeche) by this time i am singing an song and was greatfull that the weather has turned cold for we are in the great swamp and bugs are nill , matter of fact whole trip was in a swamp.......we tell camper better have coffee ready next stop...........w pass by 2 old timers and they tell us river- creek has been fished out since spring...we show up and camper melts pine pitch and we make patches on his canoe by pouring it in the cracks....... Dam it works...great idea camper.........back at truck we load up pose for pictures and toss camper fully dressed in creek -river Next time its Moss's turn to plan trip and the trip really was not that bad...except for no fish....we had fun thinking up ways to do in camper and had a good time being together...tom is a huge guy and if had more hair on his back would look like a 300 pd black bear...I did catch a nice native brown trout next day on stream by Moss's house and tom got 1 also.I stopped in PA on the way home and got a few nice bass3 or 4 pds Toms story Once upon a time there was this guy named Tom. He met some guys on the Internet that wanted to take a canoe trip. A canoe trip that was to be 16 miles long. 16 miles long that turned into 20 miles long. Canoe trips in a river, not a creek, were the only thing that you could put in it was your feet. Through rocks and blow downs. Over beaver dams, bugs, and leeches Tom went. Wondering if he would live to regret it. Feeling like Burt Reynolds in the movie "Deliverance" Tom paddled on. Looking for alligators to come to his harm. But then a ray of hope. He hears a sound, a sound that made Tom smile. It was Red, and Moss calling. A ray of light, that killed Tom’s fright. To camp they all paddle. Set up there tents, and beds. Drink beer, and made cheer. Two days go past, and not a fish to be had. So off they go. Back through the swamp, were Tom hits a rock. Boat a leaking; he thought he was sinking. Paddle, and paddle Tom went. Had to get out of this swamp for he was real wet. And there it is, he sees his truck. He knew he was safe. Out of this swamp. Tom lives, and is happy at home. With his 2 kids, and a bottle rum. Tom sits back and thinks about his trip. And the only thing he could think of was CAMPER YOU
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A DEAD MAN!
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