And Anne of Cleves, who Catherine displaced, battened down in her bolthole at Richmond....what did she think of her replacement's fall from the king's grace, & of her ex for doing away with a 2nd wife in such a shocking manner?
I had no chance for wedded bliss
Because of this dim-witted miss
Who caught my spouse's roving eye
And so the dame deserved to die!
He loved me not! I was dismayed!
I brushed my mane, but wasn't laid!
"How now, my love?" I wept, "What's wrong?
Do you not like my bridle thong?"
"As soon as me and you were wed,
This rosy beauty turned my head
And I looked back and at stared at YOU,
And thought, "This marriage will not do!
I stomped my hooves! I shook my mane!
I neighed, "I want MY turn to rein!
But Hank said, "Anne, she turns me on,
I won't be happy till you're gone.
Go back to pasture! Off with you,
Or I will use your feet for glue!
We must divorce or else you die,
Go whinny at some other guy!"
And so I left and hung my head
And mused, "I hope she ends up dead."
And thus devised a witty plan
And trotted off to find a man.
I spied Culpepper in the hay
Exhausted from a maiden's lay,
And said, "I got the broad for you!"
He mounted me and off we flew.
I dropped him off at Henry's place
And so began the fall from grace.
He hid himself in Cathy's bed
But Hank found out, then they were dead.
Revenge was sweet! I liked it lots,
I hatched one of the Tudor plots!
Remember when this tail you share,
You heard it from the Flanders Mare.
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) & hauled off to St Peter ad Vincula because Henry had made absolutely no post-mortem arrangements for his soon to be late wife, not even the provision of a coffin.
First 
....intriguing indeed how Henry's "Rose Without a Thorn" got a common axe while "The Witch" was privileged enough for a French swordsman. I'm wondering if that may have something to do with the old lore that Evil can only be killed with silver. Though I suppose it's not the best metal for a nice sharp sword & alas I don't know a thing about it except that Toledo steel seemed to be highly prized as a good sword material.
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