Hi Maryam,
I am sending you both healing thoughts and prayers hun from my heart.
My heart goes out to you both and believe me sweetheart i know the fear, pain and torment your both going through right now.
Both me and my disabled daughter had our drinks spiked with a rape drug in Dec 2003 by a man i thought was my friend.
He then raped and seriously sexually assulted us both.
In Jan 2005 we both had to give evidence in the crown court.
The man who raped and assulted us both was behind a screen.
So he could not see us and we could not see him.
But i was really aware he was there and could hear me whilst i gave evidence.
I'm not saying it was a easy thing to do to relive your nightmare in front of a court room full of strangers because it was not.
But i knew if i did'nt give evidence he'd hurt someone else and the only way to stop him from hurting someone and to save someone from living with my nightmare was to give evidence.
I told both of my daughters who were witness to just tell the truth.
And by telling the truth they had nothing to be frightened about.
And i was cross examed by his defence for 3 1/2 hours and no matter how many times or in how many different ways his defence asked me the same question my answer was always the same because i was telling the truth.
Watch out for any questions his defence rushes you on because if he's rushing you and going onto the next question before you've answered the last question properly he's just asked you he's doing this for a reason.
For eg; his defence asked me what time he arrived at my house the night he raped and assulted me.
I said around 8pm because he normally arrived around 8pm.
He said are you sure it was 8pm.
I said i think i'm sure but i could be wrong.
I don't look at the time when someone arrives or leaves it could have been much later.
So he said to me very sarcastetly much later and then asked me the next question.
I was going to tell the jury he sometimes would arrive after 10pm when he'd just finshed his late shift.
But because he'd asked me the next question i did not think it was significant and went on to answer his next question.
But believe me it was very significant Redmond the man who raped us had been working until 10pm that night and his boss had been called has a witness to confirm he was working until 10pm that night.
And his defence tried to say he could not have raped and assulted me that night because he was working when i said he'd arrived.
But i'd also told the court before that the rape happened when the James Brown show was on the TV on Dec 23 2003.
The James Brown show was on the TV after 11pm which would have still gave him plenty of time to leave work and arrive at my home and drug our drinks.
His defence also rushed me on another question too and that was also significant too.
So if his defence trys to rush you on any question don't let him remember what i've told you if he's rushing you it's significant hun.
His defence dose not have to show the prosercution all of their evidence but the prosecution has to show the defence all of your evidence it's not fair hun i know it seems like these animals have more rights then we do.
I dreaded giving evidence and was a nervous wreck.
The first day i gave evidence i was too robotic i never showed any emotion at all.
I relised that the jury had to see emotion to believe your account of events of what happened.
And the second day i showed my emotion told the jury how the rape and assult had effected me mentally.
Even if he is guilty if you don't let the jury know how it's effected you there is a chance he'll be found not guilty hun so please god show your emotions break down and cry in the box when your giving evidence if you need to hun.
Redmond was found guilty and is now in prison where he can't hurt no-one else hun.
And this only happened because i told the truth and broke down in the witness box and cried.
Do not at any time let his defence make you admit something you said could be wrong.
He will try by twisting things you've said in your statements.
If you admit you could have been wrong he'll turn that against you to try and say well you could have been wrong about the rape and what you think happened.
IE: When i took my daughter to see my GP on Dec 23 2003 i could not remember if we got to the DR's by cab or bus.
His defence kept baiting and bombarbing me with questions about this and said i'm telling you that you went by cab isn't that right.
I told him i remember i came home on the bus but really could not remember how i'd got there.
In the end i said to him sir your confushing me i really really can't remember how i got there.
After i said this he went onto the next question.
You see my daughter was asked the same question and if we had both given different answers it would have looked like we were lying.
And i really could not remember how we got there.
So if you don't know the answer to a question say you don't know because you never know what the prosercution might have up there sleeve hun.
And if his defence is confushing you tell him he is it's best to be safe then sorry.
When his defence relisied that the jury was on mine and my daughters side he tried to get the case thrown out of court on a tecnicallitiy.
This was after i'd told the jury he was a dirty n....ce and they all nodded their heads in agreement with me
I'd gave a additional statement just before i went into the witness box about something i'd not put in my origanal statement.
The police said that giving an addianal statement at this late stage looked bad.
But i disagreed and said i felt it was important and wanted it to be added in the evidence to the court because it was the truth.
His defence first tryed to say i'd just made it up to make his client look bad in the court.
I told him i was in a state of shock when i gave my first statement.
He kept trying to dicredit it and in the end i asked him.
Sir have you ever been hurt or has something like this ever happened to you.
He never answered me so i said i don't suppose you have.
He then said no i have'nt.
I then said no sir i don't suppose you have and until you have you could never ever even imagine how something like this would effect your mind and body and has i told you sir imy mind and body was in shock when i gave my first statement sir.
I never once raised my voice to him and when he tutted in a loud voice when i was talking to the jury to try and distract me from what i was telling them i just ignored him and carried on talking to the jury bascally i never took his bait.
He then asked me a question i did not understand.
I told him i'm sorry sir i don't understand what your asking me could you please repete the question again so he did and i still was not sure what he was asking me so i again told him i did not understand what he wanted to know and could he explain more clearly what he wanted to know.
But by now i relised he was asking me if i'd made my additional statement after i'd been in the witness box yesterday.
I had not i'd given it before i stepped into the witness box.
The judge stepped in and told him off he said to him i know what your getting at and i know what i have in front of me and if you try anything like this again i'll see you in my chambers.
Lol i then said to the judge it's ok your honer i think i know what he's getting at.
I then said to his defence your asking me if i made this additional statement after i gave evidence in the witness box.
He never answered me so i said if you are then the answer is no i did not.
If i'd have just said yes when i did not understand the question in the cleaver way he first asked me it.
The case would have been dismised and decalared a miss trail and Redmond would have got away with it and walked free.
So hun please please be careful if you don't understand a question ask his defence to repete it until you do.
Always be polite to his defence remember his defence are just doing their job.
Loseing your temper with his defence will just look bad on you with the jury.
And remember it's the jury you have to convince and no-one else talk to the jury look at the jury whilst your giving evidence.
His defence kept saying to me i surgest to you this did not happen i surgest to you that this is what happened.
I surgest to you my client did not say or do this i surgest to you he said and done this.
And he kept saying this so lol i said to him and i surgest to you sir that your client has a very vivid and over active imagination and lives in a fantasy world of his own sir.
He stopped surgesting things to me after that.
Say what you think don't hold back i told the jury exactly what i thought Redmond was.
You know what this man is so make sure the jury dose too hun.
When you arrive at the court rhere will be a witness protection team who will take you to a small room where you can smoke they will bring you tea and drinks.
They will escort you to the court room to give evidence and escort you back to the small room after you've given evidence.
He won't be able to come in this room or near you while you are in the court house.
They will offer you support and advise and comfort you if you need it.
I hope this helps hun and remember it's best to be prepared and to know what to expect.
The one thing i did relise was that my fears of giving evidence were worse then actually giving evidence.
Best of luck sweetheart and remember your both very brave and should be very proud of yourself because i'm proud of you both.
And fingers crossed he'll be found guilty and will be locked up where he can't hurt another women again for a long time.
I get satisfaction from just knowing Redmond is now on rule 43 in prison and he's really little the other n..ce. are going to love him.
I know it's not very spiritual of me to think like this but my wounds are still to new i just can't forgive him for what he's done to me and my daughter all i can feel is hate and anger towards him for what he did.
Sorry for going on and for my spelling mistakes i'm really tied but can't sleep.
God bless you both 
and 
Rosebud 
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