Hi All,
I really hope i'm not being too self indulgent here - even tho i feel i definitely am.
Not a good weekend for me. My dog had a fairly serious operation in August to remove a huge tumour from his head. He has lumps n bumps all over as he's quite an old man (nearly 16), but this had broke trhough the skin at the top of his head. It cant have been nice for him. At his age i was a bit reluctant to get him operated on, but it started splitting, bleeding and growing at a phenomenal rate. After the surgery, he was back to his old self again, probably a bit worse - lol. But i was so woried i was going to lose him - he's been my best and most loyal friend for a long time!
The beginning of december, his legs started to go, and i came home from work one day to find him sprawled at the bottom of the stairs, unable to move. I gave him a good healing, slept with him in the living room and next day he picked back up. SO it couldnt happen again - i got new anti slip rugs for the laminate floors and a stair gate. SO he was comfy - i got him a nice new padded bed. I carried on with the healing and he got back to form again - Bouncing around like a 2 yr old (goddess he was a nightmare at 2) lol.
I was very aware that he was old and potentially didnt have long left. I made a special request to the angels and did a spell to make sure he got thru the season - 1 last yule and new yr together. I specifically asked that whatever healing he needed be taken from me - even if it was going to make me ill.
I was very ill for 10 days over Yule (i actually had to spend 8 days solid in bed)- but didnt make any connection as my pup was so lively. We had a lovely holidays with him, My eldest now being big enough to control him whilst out walking, The xmas tree came down on Friday Morning and by teatime - the lump on his head started to reappear. By Friday night, it was causing pressure on the scar from the previous operation, By saturday he was a shell of his former self. Looking old, ragged, and his face starting to deform from the size of the tumour.
Meanwhile on Friday - i was feeling better, for the first time since Xmas Eve. BUt i knew my dog and me didnt have long together left.
On Satday Morning, I made my appointment with my family vet - he agreed it was time, before he started to suffer, He fell asleep so quickly in my arms, the vet said he must have been ready to go. Meanwhile, the migraine I've had for nearly the last 18 months, that the doctors have been telling me they cant find a reason for - has gone. All the aches and pains i been waking with for the last 2 yrs, have also gone ( i've barely touched my meds since saturday) though i'm willing to accept that perhaps i'm just a little numb lol.
I'm glad he went downhill so quickly, was really only a matter of hours. I took great comfort in holding him as he took his final sleep, he looked at peace. The Vet left us alone and i said some prayers for him, before kissing him goodbye.
For a Dog that has done nothing but sleep for the last 2 yrs - i really miss him, I miss the silly things, not taking him for walks, nor him snuggling up behind me. Not the fact that whenever i was a bit down - he wud be there, as if he knew. I miss opening the back door 20 times a bloomin day, cos he cant decide whether he wants to be in or out, I miss tripping over him every time i walk into the kitchen, or try to get the hoover out. I miss him just standing in the passageway, and not moving while i have hot plates in my hand. I missing filling up his water bowl 8 million times a day, then having to mop it up cos he such a messy drinker - all the things that used to wind me up - I miss most of all. Definite proof i think, that we like family for their qualities - but love them for their faults.
Sleep well Sherman, Roam the summerlands, Guard my temple, My family and my home in spirit as you have in body.
Love always
Keith XXX
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