A mere piffling shower, dear Rose! You'll have to do better than that!

 

 

Oooooooo A challenge , if ever I heard one lol !!! 

 

lol lol lol

 Hey ladies! I just don't fit in the oven!

Nice try but doomed to failure... I need plenty of Paxo!

 

 Jolly

O Rose.

Beneath the beauty of your crimson petals

Hides a sharp thorn, a viscious weapon.

 

I have been flanned to within a glace cherry of my life

Emotionally cruel without whipped cream to soften the impact.

 

You have hosed me with scolding water

A jetwash without lather.

 

I have laid bleeding before your metal leviathon

Crushed by the cold steel of its tracks.

 

I have been plucked and laid bare by the pheasant plucker

Not the pheasant plucker's mate!

 

I am now turning slowly

Sizzling on a spit and stamped honeyroast.

 

But what is the cruellest twist of the knife

Is the bloody aweful rhyme what you wrote.

 

Well I guess I'll need healing

For my spare ribs and BBQ sauce.

I got tasty crackling that's peeling,

And I'm definitely main course!

 

I'm a juicy pork burger,

That wont give you the runs.

I'm free! That should urge yer, (groan!)

To nibble on me buns!

 

Anyone for scratchings?

 

 

Ok so I replaced the brain that Rose gleefully damaged. It's now for sale as spares or repairs! Good as new - never been used. One careful owner!

 

 

 

And now, dear combatants, they have rebuilt me!

Beware the new Woodcutter!

Licensed to fend off flans and kick your butts into touch!

 

 

 The Mighty Woodcutter!

I here by pledge my aligence  to the mighty wood cutter. Watch out ladies here I come!!!!!!!!!

 

 

Just thinking how I can get yer!...

 

Now, let me see................................ Be nice - fool 'em, then go for the full fling!

 

 

Now how did you know I think that way as well ??  A lulled sense of security , watch out lol !!