Behind The Veil

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St. Agnes is the patron saint of little girls, but she was a little girl herself and I don't want to put a saint down or anything, but I'd rather pray to an adult. Is that wrong? I have moved to praying to Mary for the past couple of nights, as she was a mother herself and surely must have worried over her children.

I am having such issues w/my daughter I am running out of ideas. This year she is a D student in 4 out of 6 classes. I am signing failed tests every day to be returned to school. She refuses to read and homework is another trainwreck. She argues over everything and I mean EVERYTHING. Her answers to anything are either "I don't care" or "So what" or "I forgot" or "I didn't want to". She has absolutely no problem lying to us and not bothering to do any schoolwork at all.

She refuses to bring her books home from school so we had the school give us an extra set of books for the house. Her penmanship is big and messy and difficult to read; there's no pride in her work or her projects unless I do them with her. Any pride there is me forcing my own in. I'm having her assessed for ADD but I'm not convinced that's a reason for this. Some of these issues among others have been around since 1st grade but this year they have all come to a head and all at once. Last year things came to a head with me and I started looking for military schools or boarding schools that accepted 6th graders because I just couldn't stand her being in the house anymore. She had such negativity and almost a hatred that it was affecting every member of the household. It was the most horrible time. Then for some reason it went away.

She has complained she can't get to sleep at night for a year or two now. She says she just stares at the ceiling and "it's boring" and she can't sleep. I said sleep isn't supposed to be an amusement ride and she's supposed to close her eyes, not stare at the ceiling but my arguments are mute.

Tonight I caught her attempting to take 2 sleeping pills for adults. She's only 11. It says not to administer to anyone under 12 on the box but she "forgot" to look at that. I think it was only by an act of God that I found those pills she left on the bathroom counter. She "forgot" she left them there I'm sure. Thank God in heaven for that or I may still be at the hospital now. She tried to pass them off as Advil Jr but I am well aware of what Advil and Tylenol Jr look like. I calmly asked her half a dozen times in a row where did she get the pills until she confessed what they were and where she got them. I'm extremely worried now. Can someone guide me on any other saints that I may implore their help? I'm sure Mary is by far the best over all the saints, but I need as much help as I can get. My daughter is far too young to start these problems in her life.

Tell him everything, even about

Have her tested for A D Disorder.

Then read about the horrors of ADD drugs.

She is an adolescent, which is a trying time

for her and you as a parent.

Ignoring her now can be the worst thing you could

possibly do! Try talking to her about her mixed emotions.

You should ask her if her mind is racing a lot and if that's why she can't sleep. Her body might tell her she needs to sleep but her mind is wide open. Is home life good? Is there something happening in her life that is so much more different than most people? Does she have responsibilities that other kids her age don't have? I ask these questions because my childhood wasn't exactly normal and I remember about the same time that I would have a lot of trouble getting to sleep. My mind would race and as much as I wanted to sleep I couldn't. I really don't even recall relaxing enough to get to sleep. That happened pretty much from puberty until my mid 20's. I did a lot of sleep walking as a kid and talking in my sleep as well. I finally couldn't take the pressure any more so my doctor prescribed me ant-depressant/anti-psychotic medication. Don't take me the wrong way, I wasn't psychotic but the medication really did help me calm my mind down. It does take a while to kick in and make sure, if it is the case that she needs meds, that you do your research about the medication that the doctor wants to prescribe. It doesn't have to be forever either. It just is something that some people need. With me, I started getting to a point where I was physically feeling like I was being shocked from the inside out whenever I went into public places or when someone would sneek up on me. If you really don't want to put her on medication, have her start meditation. It doesn't have to be the traditional sense like sitting cross legged or "ohmmm". Maybe if she can learn to relax her mind naturally she can avoid meds altogether. I wish I could. Get her to download some mellow instrumental tunes or if you have a torrent file sharing system, you should find a program called Brain wave generator and it has some great relaxing programs that use different frequencies to help you super relax or super concentrate. Sorry if I'm running on here. Good Luck.

Andrew a.k.a. Spinner.

I have been thinking on your post. I sleep very well so when I wake in the middle of the night thinking about something I know I need to answer .

First thing although I have a feeling it is puberity you are dealing with make an appointment for her to have a complete physical.

Second I feel that the not sleeping is very worrying to her she was telling you something with trying to take the sleeping pills. so deal with that first. my sudgestions will be time consuming for you but I think they might help.

Look at her diet. try to eliminate caffiene and as much sugar as you realistically can. read ingredients . those new energy drinks are loaded with both.

Todays kids are overwhelmed with homework and stress. if what it takes to get the homework done is for you to supervise it for a while and be right there to help then that is what you need to do. Maybe homework time can be while you are cooking dinner and have her sit right in the kitchen with you.. I understood her to be in 6th grade .is one of the nightly assignments reading for 30 minutes a night . if so plan out a block of 2 hours on the weekend and have her do it then that will free up half an hour every night.and make her fell a bit in control. because KIDS NEED EXERCISE and if she is not getting it during the week it will effect her sleep. so try to make sure she gets some time daily for that . Even if it is the both of you turning on some music and clowning around dancing.

Now to help with the sleep kind of go back to when she was small. insist on an early bed time but . start her off with a warm bath or shower maybe with lavender bath salts to relax her. then as a bed time snack a cup of camomile tea or hot cocoa. go into the bedroom with her and read to her for a few minutes something relaxing or just talk about pleasant thoughts . this will hopefully make her relax and fall of to sleep. I know these ideas are time consuming for you but it is my feeling that they will help her .

Please keep me posted Growing up is so hard on kids

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